I'm a falling star
by Otpizer28
Summary: This is a RenesmeexAlec story.. Renesmee's about to be married to Jacob Black… all because of a stupid joke…. So she escapes… right to Italy… out of one loop, into another. But will this loop take her to her happily ever after, or will she be always stuck in the shadows? R&R! NOTE: the characters will be OOC with the intro of new characters. Also, a bit angsty.
1. Chapter 1: I

Okkkaaayyy since this is my final year in school, I haven't really got much time for fanfics… SORRY! But I will try my best to be a good writer, I promise!So this is a Renessme/ Alec story.. renessme's about to be married to Jacob Black… all because of a stupid joke…. So she escapes… right to Italy… out of one loop, into another. But will this loop take her to her happily ever after, or will she be always stuck in the shadows? R&amp;R!

Love, Irene Ashlynn  
_

**Sticks and****stones****may break my bones, but words will never hurt me….. Like hell they won't.  
Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words and sentences shatter my heart.  
_**

Chapter 1- I'm not antisocial, I'm anti-idiot

Ren POV

A new day. But that seems like a complete misnomer, because it isn't a new day at all. Here I am, in the same old house, the same people, the same room, with the same sun shining through the same old windows. My situation is same too- Renessmee Cullen, about to be married to Jacob Black, her handsome wolf. Huh. Handsome, my ass… he is handsome from outside, wicked from inside. How could he, I think to myself. "How could he be so cruel to play such a cruel joke on me?" There is no one around who can give me my answer. No one except me and my memories, who keep playing the same broken record.

FLASHBACK

"Hey nessie!" Jake beamed and lifted me of the ground as I squealed, laughing. " hey Jakey!" I grinned, happy to be with my best friend. I had an awesome family, a great gang of werewolves who were my friends, and a best friend like Jacob. What could spoil my utopia? Little did I know, I was about to get a reality check. "nessie, I need to tell you something….. I am gonna die soon…. Because some mysterious virus has striked the pack….. or rather killed many werewolves….. and I think it has gotten me….." Jake whispered, looking down. The grin vanished of my face. The wind kept rushing in my ears.

"Jake… you're kidding right? I mean, this is impossible…. And I'm gonna punch you for this joke, you mutt!" I said, laughing, thinking he'd laugh with me. But then, a painful expression ripped through his eyes as they shone with sadness. "No, Nessie… its true….. and this disease is incurable…..so Carlisle can't help me." He said, shaking his head sadly. "Okay, STOP! You've got to be kidding me…. this… can't happen… no… not with you… no…. no…" I said, grabbing my head and sinking to the ground in shock. He was joking. He was an idiot, like always. And any second now, he's gonna burst out laughing like old times… I whispered to myself, trying to calm down. "But what if it's true? What if it is REALLY true?" I whispered, my voice cracked. Jake sat down. He forced my chin up and said, "Nessie, you are my imprint…. Ever since you were born, I have loved you…. And there is nothing in this world for me now, except you… I want to live my life with you… I want to dream and love you… so…. Will you grant me my last wish and say that you love me, like I you?" Jake asked.

The sun was gone, lost behind the clouds. The wind now roared in my ears, as though to yell at me to show how wrong this felt, how messed my life was. The grass was coloured dark green. There was silence. Complete, deafening silence, which burned through my ice-cold veins. The words which he just said kept banging on my skull like an iron hammer. I felt numb, yet I felt horrible. How, how was I to say no to his last wish? How was I to deny and reject his love for me and completely shatter his heart? But it was true, and I felt sick knowing that he had imprinted on me. But still, like a foolish girl I replied, "Yes. Yes, I will." Even if it means condemning myself and my true feelings. His face lit up. "YES!"he roared. "I knew it! See you assholes, I told you she'd say yes!" he screamed and suddenly, my audience came. The whole wolf pack stepped out of nowhere, all those immature guys grinning." Congrats Mr-and-Mrs-about-to-be-married!" they all screamed. But it went through my spine like a thousand volts of electricity. "what do they mean jake?" I said, now reeling from this shock. "I'm not dying, silly. It was just a little test to see how much you loved me. All the imprintees had to take it. Congrats, you've passed!" He laughed grinning.

-PRESENT TIME-

A joke. I killed my heart for a joke. A sick, stupid joke, by an even more sick mutt. I killed my feelings for him, and now I am bound. Bound by my promise to marry him.

A knock came upon my door. "Don't come in if you're stupid." I said, emotionlessly. The door opened and Leah Clearwater an my mom stepped in. "Well, isn't this week full of surprises. What's next? Wiz Khalifa strip dances in Trumsbull?" I said snarkily. "What's with all this anti-social attitude? You're about to be married. So why are you sitting in your room like you're a prisoner?" Mom demanded, frowning at me. "I'm not  
being Anti-social. I 'm being Anti-idiot. Contro idiota. Anti i̱líthios. विरोधी मूर्ख. anti exc-" "I got it. Now be nice to our guest." My mom sighed, tired. "bye, both of you. We are going hunting, so you two have the house to yourself"

"What do you want now leah? Another joke from your pretty pack? O r you're just here to see me." I said, not even caring that she'd probably tell all about my snarky behavior to jake, and then I'd have to confront him. "I'm not here for that. Actually, I don't even know you that well, so I don't know why I'm here. But I won't tell anything about this to Jacob, or any other guy." "You can tell them. You're not my protectress or something. We aren't even friends. Which brings me back to, why the hell are you here?" I asked her. "I'm here to be friends with you I guess. Now that you've understood how horrible mates can get and you've lost your coloured glasses, we can talk like human beings."

She shrugged. I sighed. Somehow, it didn't matter how she knew that I didn't wanna marry Jake. Maybe I'd always known she'd know. The way she'd looked at me that horrible day, not laughing, not crying and grinning like the others were. Just staring with an unrecognizable emotion in her eyes. Maybe, it wasn't hatred. Maybe it was understanding . She was right. Werewolves can be horrible "I know. Horrible reality check. And I don't know what to do. Everyone expects me to the radiant bride, all smiley-amiley and blushy-blushy. Shit, I hate blushy-blushy. I wanna kick someone right now. Hardcore." I said, finally feeling happy that I could TALK, and not just say something others wanted to hear. "But enough of that. Jakes a freaking dumb asshat. I am an idiot for saying yes. Matter finished." "Oh, is it? It's not finished till you or he die, darling. And that's a REALLY long time." "Well, then I'm a piece of mess." "We

Know that already. You've fucked up. Now what are you going to do? Sit here? Nope, that ain't gonna happen, chick. You're going. Away." "Where? And why?" I frowned.  
"Away from here. We'll figure it out. Don't worry. Just hold on to your heart and brain. The rest of you will follow." "Right."

We were both being stupid. I couldn't escape. I'd made a commitment, a promise. Still, hope was a dangerous thing. I was already making plans, and thinking whether I could leave right now.

**King James 2000 Bible**  
That which is gone out from your lips you shall keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as you have vowed unto the lord your God, which you have promised with your mouth.

Well.. how was it? please review!


	2. Chapter 2: Elpis is a drug

Okay, so firstly, a BIG thank you for the exhilarating response to my story! Thanks guys, I was really very happy and grateful for all of it! So here's the second chapter for I'm a falling star! Hope you like it! R &amp; R!

Love, IreneAshlynn  
_

"_Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane."__― __Stephen King__, __Different Seasons__  
__

Chapter 2- Elpis is a drug

Ren POV

I and Leah were quiet. Just staring outside, lost in our thoughts. Her previous comment still had me hooked. Could it really happen? Could I leave, and find my own way? Could I be happy? There were two voices, and the conflict was that both were angels. One said, "Go. Fulfilling your dreams is just as important as fulfilling others. And by entering into a one-sided love marriage, you are condemning both- yourself and Jacob. So its best you stop this and leave. While you still have time." The other said, "you have made a promise, an oath. Oaths are not made to be broken. It is your duty to fulfill your promise. This marriage was your decision, your action. Now you have to stand up and face the consequences. Not crying and bitter, but with a happy smile."

I was a Cullen, and Cullens were meticulous and diligent in whatever they did. They never left unaccomplished tasks, so this marriage seemed like a very tall order to me. I sighed and looked at Leah. She gave me awry and painful smile and said, "You're thinking about it, right? Running away. It was my stupid comment, was it not?" "It isn't your fault. You've just given me a new food for thought which is really refreshing. Up till now, I was just cursing my tongue and mainly, cursing Jacob. Now I'm thinking maybe this knot can be undone. I'm just scared of what lies inside the box. Will I find a treasuring memory, or will I find another deathly spirit?

"We both know the answer to your question lies in your opening the box. But what I don't get is, the idiot did imprint on you. So why don't you return his feelings?" "I guess it has something to do with my being a hybrid or something. The most I can go to think of a relationship with Jacob is for us to be brother –sister. Although now I'm pretty sure it isn't the same with him." I said wryly. Leah laughed. "You don't say, chick. Well enough about that. Maybe he isn't really your soulmate. Sam wasn't mine, as you can see very obviously. But what's of pivotal importance is that you cannot go through this marriage. This marriage is like selling your soul to the devil. No ren, you can't do this. We have to do something, and I know for damn sure that Jacob won't back off, even if you say no. what's done is done. Now what matters is getting you out of here. You need time." "I know, Lee.. can I call you lee?" I asked, unsure about what we were in her brain. For me, she was definitely turning out to be a great friend, some who had seen sorrow and heartbreak in the face and was still living. Harsh on the outside, warm on the inside. It was a whole new side of her, and I was enjoying the feeling of having a friend. "Sure. After all I called you ren without your permission too. I figured you'd hate me calling you 'his' nickname for you. It was dumb anyways." Leah said, shrugging. I grinned. "Yeah, thanks for that. Ren… hmmmm I like the sound of it!" I said, feeling satisfied. The new name gave me a sort of new hope that I could be who I was, instead of being someone others thought I was. It gave me incentive and courage to find a new direction to go in. like I could do my own thing, make my own fate. It was a strong feeling, and a much-needed one, too, after one week of despair and anger. I was right, hope was dangerous. But I needed it right now. "So, lee, I said, what should I pack? Backpacker or holiday-holic?" I said, feeling happy about finally making a choice. Leah smirked. "I say, you should go for backpacker, with plenty of money, so once you settle in somewhere, you can buy what you need. And about that excuse to your family, just say you are 'soul- searching.' Not far from the truth, anyway."

I smiled and opened my closet. There was a bag big enough for all my essentials so I quickly put them all in. "What about clothes? Should I pack all combat goodies or go girly, the way Aunt Alice would love to see me as, but I'm never gonna be?" It was true. I did like dresses, but I wasn't all fashion conscious or the one to get super excited about a shopping trip. Aunt Alice blamed my mom for this, and we always laughed whenever I refused to wear one of Aunt Alice's dresses. I and my mom were super-close and we loved each other to death. A lump formed in my throat as I thought of leaving behind my bestest friend in the world, my mom, and my king, my dad, who was overprotective and loving and was the reason I was a princess. Yes, I was a princess, not because I'd found a prince, but cause' my dad was a king. I shook my head, determined not to cry. "Go for what you like. This trip is about you." Leah said. "But take a dress or two. Never know when you might need it." I nodded, and put in a purple dress that I absolutely loved to pieces, and another green one. I took a piece of paper and a pen and wrote,  
Dear Dad, Mum and all,

I love you all. But I want to travel. Daddy, remember when you read to me about the age of discovery, how I said I wanted to explore to? Well, right now, I really needed to. My whole life I've lived in this pretty town. But I want to live outside. You must be thinking, why now? Why when I'm about to be married? Well, when I marry, I'll enter a new stage of my life. And without completing my first stage, how can I complete the next? So please, I'm begging you, let me leave and travel. I _will _be back. Soon. Just until then, push this marriage forward. Please. I love you all

Love, Renesmee Lyric Cullen

**A.N/ I know renesmee's second name is carlie, but I wanted to have another name for her, for which the reasons you will understand later. Thanks!  
_**

"Well, Lee, it's time to leave." I whispered, getting up and wiping away my tears. Leah got up and hugged me. "Go. I'll cover for you, in whatever lie you've told. But if you don't call me first, I swear to god I'll murder you Cullen" she said, growling the last part out. I smiled. "I wouldn't dare. Now bye."

I got out of the house, not looking back even once. "Where to go?" I thought. And then the answer came, or rather floated towards me, I should say. A breeze blew, and a small ticket landed on my feet. It was for….. Italy. "Well, god, I hope you have a good plan for me."  
_

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.

\- Alexander Graham Bell

Well, how was it? Please review! Love, IreneAshlynn


	3. Chapter 3-Rescapade

Ooookkkaayyy, I know I've been on a llaaaarrrggeee vacay, but honestly, I had reasons! I am in my last year, in std 10th, so I HAVE to study really hard! I probably won't post till I'm done with my exams next year, so these few chapters are all I have, my precious! Hope you like this one!_ love, AnikaKiara  
_

_**I feel like I have a new life and I'm going to take full advantage of it.-**_

_**William Green**__**  
_**_

Chapter 3- Renscapade

Ren POV

I looked out of the window, not really focusing since the plane hadn't taken off. Just half an hour ago, I'd run away from my house. I was depending on leah to hold the fort down. Somehow, I had developed a strange yet exciting bond with her. Suddenly, someone crashed on my lap.

I looked down to see the crimson face of a girl. "oh my, I'm so sorry… are you alright?" she asked, looking up. She had the strangest eyes, not blue, not green. Right in the middle. "well… other then my pinky being crushed, I'm fine." I said, looking at my now throbbing finger. "Sorry! I don't even know what I tripped over! Gravity and me are going through rough patches… he loves me, I don't love him. So I end up giving him a rather large amount of hugs… even if I don't want to give them!" she said, shooting me a sheepish grin. I laughed. She had a good sense of humour.

"I guess I'll go away now.. my brother's probably gotten the hint that I've crashed into someone or something by now, so I'll go reassure him that you survived." She said. "It was nice meeting you." "I know. After all, you fell for me. Hard." I said, winking up at her. She laughed. "Good one." she said.  
"My name is Renesmee Cullen." "I'm Mitsuko Anika Chevalier." She said, holding up her hand. Suddenly, her eyes shift to look at the seat beside me. She laughed. "Oh look, we were destined to be together, it seems. My seat's right here!"

A new voice entered the conversation from behind us. " Anika, did you trip….. again?" an exasperated boy's voice spoke. I turned. A boy, about a year or so older than me was standing there, with a duffle bag in his hands, a cross expression on his face.

He had the same eyes as Anika, not-blue, not green, but the perfect mixture of both. He was quite taller than her, and well-built with raven-black hair that fell across his eyes in a messy-yet-perfect look.

Anika's face turned red and she opened her mouth to speak. I cut her off, saying,"Of course not." Turning to her, I dramatically stage-whispered to her, saying, "Does he know? Should I tell him?" she flashed a grin at me and said in the gravest voice,"No…. I didn't know how to tell… you tell him." The boy said, "Tell me what? Who is she, Mitsu?"

I turned back to him and introduced myself, saying," I'm Renesmee Cullen, but please call me Ren. As for your sister, she seems to be in rather an abusive relationship with her boyfriend." I spoke in the most serious voice ever. I was having fun now.(AN: and so am I!)

He raised his eyebrows, not at all fazed with my acting. Infact, he seemed even more annoyed. " Well miss Renesmee-call-me-ren-though, can you cut the crap and get straight to the point? Cause you see, unlike my sister who prefers to trip around _everywhere, _I'd like to find my seat and sit there." Ouch. What a gnirob( P.S: reading it backwards)still, I was having fun

In the best grave voice I could muster, I said, "She's in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend, Gravity." To Anika, I said, "Forgive me honey, but this boyfriend of yours seems rather _force_full to me. Pushing you to give him hugs is just not my type."

"No ren, your type is a guy who seems like your bff since childhood, but then tricks you into marrying him." I thought.

Anika choked on her laughter but then gave me what looked like an angel's teary eye-look. "Oh, please don't say so! He's nice to me at times. But you're right, he is a _force _to recon." She said the last part to her brother, grinning up at him cheekily.

He sighed. "Congratulations baka, you just found yourself another baka. Have fun you two. Now can we find our seats?" he said, sounding exasperated and annoyed at the same time. He kinda reminded me of dad, when me and uncle Emmett would crack up at something really silly, he'd give us the same look this guy as giving us.

"Shit, I gotta ask his name. I can't just call him guy all the time." "what's your name?" I asked him. "Kuzuhiro James Chevalier. BUT call me jem. Don't you fucking dare call me Jamie or any other stupid name like that. If you feel _ my _name is a mouthful, saying yours should be a felony." He says. "NOW where. is. my. SEAT?"( if this sentence doesn't come out properly, its because fanfiction is a baka) he asks anika.

Right here brother dearie. Sit down. Who knows, your balls might fall of if you stand that long." She says in a dry voice, which is very contradictory to her sweet-as-honey smile. I laughed, glad that I met this lovely pair.

"Atleast my plane ride will go nicely, thanks to these two." I thought.

Me and anika started to chatter. I found out that she was from Tokyo and she and her brother both were orphaned at age 11. Jem was only 1 year older than her. She was fifteen, same age as me. We shared common interests, and I felt this real connection with her, same one that I'd felt with Leah. I'd be sorry to leave her.

Halfway through though, I found that I didn't have to worry about leaving her. Jem was sleeping, and most of the passengers around us were watching movies or listening to songs. She looked at me very seriously and whispered, "Hey, look… I know that you are a vampire, okay? And I am not bothered about it…. because I am a witch myself."

Nothing compared to the shock I felt then. I inhaled sharply and whispered," b-but….. how? I didn't know …witches existed….. how did you come to know….? I was shock-struck

" It's true. Me and my brother are both witches. I don't know why I told you, its just that I have…..feelings….. feelings that tell me you are trustworthy and won't tell anyone. Jem is going to be mad at me, though.  
witches are VERY rare. I haven't met anyone of my kind. And we're not those dumbass Halloween witches. We're half human. How, I've no idea.  
we found out the day our parents died. This plane thing? How I met you and all? I had intuitions about it. not a future-seeing thingy, but when I met you today, it was like a lot of déjà-vu, only stronger. I get these….. feelings, you can say….at times."

"that's a lot to take in." I say, still a bit shocked, but also happy that she trusted me. " I know. I'll tell you more when we land. You are going to volterra, _right?_ That's what all of your….. people do in Italy."

I nodded, knowing that there was going to be a _lot _of talking to do when we went to Italy.

I don't know why, but I told her the whole deal about Jacob and my family. No, wait scratch that. I do know why. Its because I felt I could trust her, and that we were going to be together for a lloooonnggg time, probably. I was extremely curious about jem and her, and wanted to know more about her mysterious past.

In all our talks, Italy finally arrived. "we'll go to a hotel first, then move around, talking a bit, okay?" she said to me. I nodded. Sure, we would talk a bit.

_**CHOICE. . YOU MUST MAKE A **__**CHOICE**__** TO TAKE A **__**CHANCE**__** THAT'LL **__**CHANGE **__**YOUR LIFE.  
-ANON  
_**_

How is it…..? I hope you like it… don't worry, the next few chapters will give you all the information on jem and anika. Please review, and hold on, cause my prelim exams are on!  
-love, anikakiara


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, I'm FINAALY back from hiatus! My board exams finished on Monday, and yesterday was my birthday 15 now! :D anyways, thank you for waiting for me! I really appreciate it!. just please send a LOT of reviews! Constructive criticism is always appreciated, but no hate please.. I don't know, I'll probably just cry :'( nevertheless, this chapter….. Is not a chapter… :D *evil grin* sorry. It IS a chapter, but more like all the bio on anika and jem, my oc's. **NOTE!: LAST CHAPTER HAS ONLY ONE major change… anika and jem are from Tokyo, NOT shanghai. Also, their new surname will be changed. It will be shown in this chapter**.

_peace out,  
anika  
_

Chapter 4- A past with no present to give

Full name: Mitsuko Anika Chevalier and Kazuhiro James Chevalier.

Nationality: both are half French (Dad) and half Japanese (mom)  
hence the contrasting names. But mitsuko and kazuhiro are their nicknames; Anika and James are their official names.

Relation: They are brother-sister.

Parents: Joshua Chevalier and Amaya Chevalier. Both died after a car accident. James and Anika were then adopted by their maternal uncles Daichi and Takashi. There they learnt that their father's younger sister, anika, was a witch and she passed on her powers to Anika and James.

They don't exactly have superpowers, as they are still very young. But, anika gets intuitions (NOTE: SHE CANNOT SEE THE FUTURE.) about PEOPLE. So she can recognize their feelings, behavior patterns, etc. she can see a person's past through their talks. It's because she is an artist, and hence has a vivid imagination.

James can control fire to a limited extent, so he is a fire-bender (I HAD TO WRITE THAT, XD) he too, has Anika's power of intuitions, though he has more skill at reading a person's present.

Both know about the Volturi. The Volturi have quite pleasant relationships with witches. James and Anika are part- witches that is, they are hybrids, just like Ren. This is the reason they have a limit on their powers.

The reason for their half-blood is that their mom Amaya, married a non-witch guy, Joshua.

Age: jem is 16,Anika is 15.

Persona: jem is more closed up, guarded kind of guy, especially after his parents death and his findings about he and his sister being a witch/wizard. He loves his sister to death, and would do anything for her, but doesn't show it. he adores her a lot. Mostly calls her nika (pronounced as nai-ka) or mitsu-chan.

Anika: she is very shy around new people and prefers to be quiet till she gets to know them. She is also very clumsy and is easily embarrassed. Loves her brother to death. Calls him onii-chan or jem. Has a petite structure, so easily mistaken for being weak. Though appears weak, is strong.

I guess this explains everything about their past? If you find something lacking, please tell me! And do tell whether you like my oc's! I'd love to take tips!  
_

Peace out, anika.


	5. Chapter 5- Decision

New chapter! Yay! Renny has reached Italy and has already talked about anika's past. Moving on…. Hope you like it, and  
Anika: I don't wanna say it, so here's revie the review button: ya peeps, please know that this deranged girl does not own twilight. If she did… *gulps* I wouldn't wanna read it.

Anika: what was that, revie? *points knife*

Revie:n-n-nothing. Oh, and please press me!

Anika: ya heard him, folks! Review!  
_

I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you, But with the beast inside  
There's nowhere we can hide. – Imagine Dragons.  
_

Chapter 5- Whoever said life is a dancefloor didn't know that I'm paralysed

Ren POV

….and that's our story." Anika finished, sighing. Jem still had a poker face on, but his eyes showed a bit of sadness, that went away as soon as I saw it. "I still don't get why you are running away. Just tell your parents you don't want to marry this asshole and finish the whole ordeal." He said, shrugging.

I thought about his words. But I knew I couldn't just say no. besides, I wanted, no, needed this trip. I want to know who exactly I AM. I am not merely Ren Cullen. Who is SHE anyways? What are MY skills, my talents? Up to this point, I've lived as per my parents have told me too. And it's not that it was bad, it's just that I need my space to grow. To think. To feel. I wanna get hurt. I wanna know that feeling of love, of friendship, of joy, and yes, of even heartbreak. That's why I ran.

So I said to him, "It's not all about Jacob. It's about me needing my own space to grow. I need time, jem. I've been through a tornado. I lost my best friend. I can't just TRUST him, you know? And isn't imprinting all about being WHATEVER your mate wants you to be? And all I want from Jacob is friendship, not love. So he tricked me into this whole thing, for attaining my love? He already had it, just in a different way. But I don't think he'll ever have it, or my trust, again. And yes, I could tell my family, but try as I might, I can't. I can't make up my mind! I… I just can't, okay?" I shouted the last part out, clenching my fists.

It was too hard. I'd always wanted my family to be happy, and thought that their happiness was my own. But now I was realizing that it was different. And that I'd have to choose: them or me. If I choose this wedding I made them happy that a suitable boy would marry their daughter. But Jacob wasn't suitable for me, no matter how hard I tried to think of him a person I could give my heart to.

"But you've already chosen, Ren." Jem said. "I can still change it, though."I said, not sounding as confident as my words were. "Well, do you WANT to? You're dancing on two steps at one time, Ren. Sooner or later you'll fall. You say you can change it, but you don't want to. Also, it seems to me you're ASKING us instead to telling us that you can change."Jem said. Damn him, he was waaaayy too perceptive.

We entered the worst stage in any conversation, even worser than the "k". Silence. It was killing me. Literally.

"It seems to me what you need right now is time, right?" Anika said, trying to sound more positive. I nodded, numb. "And that's what you came here for. So, make use of it! Lets plan your further trip. What do you wanna do when you meet the volturi? And I think you should change your name so that no one knows you, and your family can't track you." Anika sounded determined to get me out of my rut. It was amazing. I was opening up to more and more strangers. Leah, Anika, Jem… all of them weren't there with me from the start, yet they were doing their best to help me. And I considered them as good friends no, after a mere 4, what 5 hours? And the people I'd grown up with were so closed up to my emotions! But I suppose it was my fault. Uncle jazz could read my emotions, but I never gave him the chance as I had earned my mother's shield along with my ability to create illusions.

Dad couldn't read my mind, and aunt Ali couldn't see my future. " I want to meet Aro, but I'd prefer not to stay there. After all, it would be a great lot to ask from him and I don't want to be a burden on anyone."I said, finally making up my mind. I was going to make this. I had to. I couldn't keep crying and moaning just because of some stupid guy. Fate had given me a new chance, and I was gonna make use of it to be stronger. I had earned new friends, and I was going to survive.

"Give it a chance." Jem said. "Give what a chance?" I asked bemusedly.  
"Living with the volturi. We'll be with you, and we're new to this too." Jem said, shrugging. "You're going there too?" I asked. Anika nodded. "It's our first time meeting them. We're going cause Daichi oji said that we were invited to the annual ball. Daichi oji and Takashi oji are coming too, but they are away for some work, so they'll come late. They run a huge business company, so the meetings are random and unpredictable."

"The volturi are holding a ball?" I asked, confused. "According to Daichi oji, they hold one every year. Since we were almost always in school when the ball would be held, we couldn't come. But its summer now!" Anika said happily. "Come with us." Jem said. I was still in a dilemma, but then a thought crossed my mind. "What if my family comes too? I can't come." I said, scared.

"The ball is still a month or two away. You'll have plenty of time to make up your mind till then. Plus you can take a breather like you wanted. And we'll be there to sort out any shit you are bound to create." Jem said. "And what makes you think I'll create a mess?" I said, pouting at him. He stared back at me with a poker face and said, "I know you will. You're a mess yourself. And you can count on Anika to create a mess even if you don't do it." "Hey! Onii-chan, that's not fair! I don't mean to create trouble, I – "It just _happens_, I know. After all, it's your _skill, _imoto-chan" jem mocked, cutting her off. She did the most mature thing and stuck her tongue out at him. I smiled. Just then, my phone rang. It was Leah.

"Hey, where are you?"

"Guess where. I'm in Italy, lee."

"…. Girl, you got a knack of jumping from one trouble to a disaster."

I chuckled. "Awww, where's the girly support I need the most? Anyways, you have no idea, but I just had the best plane ride EVER. How are things back there?"

"Great. After all, who is there here? You're family's gone away for a week. But I wanna know what you will do now, ren."

I told her about the volturi's ball. She sighed and said, "Don't yell, but you could really go, you know. Like, stay there and all. After all, Aro will LOVE to have you there, his precious little hybrid. And you get your me-time too."

"I know. I'm going." I said suddenly. I don't know why. Maybe it was to be reckless, maybe it was fate. Who cares?

"But I won't be going as Renesmee Cullen. I'll request aro to not tell my name to my parents. Perhaps he'll understand."

"An alias? But who's name will you go under?"

Who's name? A completely fake name would be my best option, but… and then suddenly, uncle jazz came to my mind. He was my favorite person in the house. He could sort me out anytime, even when bereft of his power. He could recognize my emotions without it.

"I'll go as Ren Whitlock." I smiled. The name sounded perfect.

"Your uncle's name? But why?" Leah asked, confused.

"I don't know, but he's been closest to me, always. That's why, I guess. Talk to you after meeting the volturi. And Lee?"

"What?"

"Be safe, okay? Especially with your thoughts. I don't want Jacob to do anything to you."

"I'll be fine. I'm going undercover, girl" I smiled. I could hear the grin in her voice. "bye." "bye."

"Let's go, guys." I said to Anika and Jem. "Sure. To the volturi we go!" Anika said, grinning. I smiled back.

… how was it? please review! Next chap: volturi, with our famous hottie Alec! Whooppiee!

Love, anika


	6. Chapter 6- Shinkyo

This is the awaited chapter…. Ren meets the Volturi! I hope I'll be able to update soon, because I seem to be nearing what seems like a writer's block! I'll try my best though! And special note for the guest who reviewed: I love you! Thanks for the review, you and me think alike! Keep reviewing guys! Reviews make me type faster! And…. here's revie

Revie: This girl has no rights over twilight. And please press me!  
**_**

_**Happiness is not the absence of problems, but it is about finding a way to deal with them**__**\- Steve Maraboli  
**____

Chapter 6: Shinkyo (which is Japanese for a new home…. According to google.)

*after reaching the castle*

Ren POV

I took a deep breath. This was it. I had to do it. Jem put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at him. He simply nodded. I gave him an unsure smile and pushed open the doors, stepping into what, I hoped, would be my new, albeit, temporary residence.

I walked forward to Aro, who had a smile on his face, and bowed. "Hello." I said. "What an unexpected surprise!" Aro exclaimed, his smile stretching impossibly wide. "And look who's with you, Renesmee! Kazuhiro James Chevalier and Mitsuko Anika Chevalier! It's lovely to see you…. Finally! To what do I owe this pleasant surprise, Renesmee dear?" "It's Ren, actually. Please call me Ren." I said.

Caius snorted and said, "What? Don't you family and your mutt call you 'nessie' or something? Don't like him now?" He was clearly annoyed at my presence there. The old nickname given to me was like coal in the fire.

Turning to him, Aro said, "Now, brother dear, that's very impolite of you. Turning back to me, he said, "But that does remind me, aren't you his bride-to-be now? What brings you all the way here then?"

I froze and frowned. How did he know? Seeing my frown, he said, "you're parents called me the other day. They were over the moon, and why wouldn't they be? It's their only daughter's marriage!"

I grimaced even more. My heart was aching. I was throwing away my parent's happiness for my selfish reasons. "But why are you still frowning, dear? Is anything the matter?"

I sighed. It was time. I'd made a decision, and I wouldn't chicken out. "But you chickened out of your last decision to marry Jacob, didn't you?" the evil voice in the back of my mind snickered.

Ignoring it, I told Aro all about my trouble. In the end, Anika and Jem explained how they met me and why I came here. Looking down, Anika said haltingly, "I have met you for the first time in my life. It would be highly improper of me to implore you to help her, but I still wish to request you t-to give her temporary residence here, at least till the ball? She won't be a burden, you know she won't!" she said, looking up at the last, casting wide, hopeful eyes towards Aro.

I swallowed back a lump. She was doing so much for me! I squeezed her hand tightly and said to Aro, "I do not wish to be a burden on you. I just need a place to stay for a while. Only till I get a job and earn enough to leave. And please, do not tell of this to my family. I need to escape. Please."

Aro's eyes were soft. He held out his hand. I put my hand in his, withdrawing my shield to show him everything. How Jacob cheated me, how this marriage felt, how Leah supported me, how Anika and Jem helped me. He released it. "Oh Ren dearie… yours is truly a tragic tale. Of course you may stay here as long as you wish to. Carlisle's granddaughter is forever welcome here. You have no need to work, you are our guest. But if that is what you want, you will get it. Right brothers?"

Caius scowled but nodded. "Whatever. Serves the brat right for trusting in mutts." Marcus had a small, yet tender look in his eyes.

"Right then. I'll show you your rooms. Anika, Jem, I presume Daichi and Takashi are in the best of their health? It's a pleasure to have both of you here, after such a long period of eagerly waiting to see you. Both of you look lovely, Anika especially. I think you've stolen a lot of hearts with those pretty eyes of yours, huh?" Aro smiled, winking at her. Anika turned red as a cherry and stuttered, "Who, me? N-no! What's so special about my eyes?" "Well, I think they are a lovely color." Aro smiled kindly. "Ren, will you do us the honor of attending the annual ball?" "I would be grateful to, but my parents…. And that reminds me, I go by the name of Ren Whitlock please. My parents have no idea of this nickname of mine, so it suited me the best. And please don't tell anyone else here of my secret. I don't want pity, I want a fresh start. I need to be away from any thoughts of my impending doom, sorry, marriage." I said to Aro. "Well, that is a lovely name. Whitlock was Jasper's surname right?" I nodded. "I remember him very well. We'll worry about your parents later. I'm sure we'll find a way to include you in the ball. For now, rest. And your secrets safe with us three don't worry." Aro said.

Suddenly, a boy entered the throne room. He looked about my age, with pale skin, a well toned body, messed up black hair and blood-red eyes. A girl entered behind him. She had an angelic face, soft blond hair that was loosely flowing down her face and the same blood-red eyes. Both bowed in front of Aro. "Ah, Alec, Jane, there you are. We have a few guests with us that will be staying for a long time. I think you know one of them." Gesturing to me, he said, "This is Renesmee Cullen, as you will remember, but please call her Ren Whitlock."Both of them showed no emotion, they simply nodded. "And these are the Chevalier siblings, Anika and Jem. We have been eagerly awaiting their arrival. Please escort our three guests to their rooms. Jane, go with Anika and Jem, Alec, since you are heading to the library, take Ren along with you to her room, it's on the same floor."

I left the throne room, my heart beating with excitement and thankfulness. Aro had been very kind to me. Alec was silent, bored, almost. Stopping in front of a door, he turned to me with an annoyed look and said, "Walk faster. I haven't got the whole day." Well, he was certainly a very patient boy. "Yeah, I'm coming, can't you see?" "Who have we here Alec?" a new voice came from behind me. I turned. It was a boy with brown hair and red eyes. He was very tall and well-built, kinda like uncle Em. "I'm Ren Whitlock." I said. "She's actually the Cullen spawn, but wants everyone to call her that." Alec said to him. "I like it. It's much better than her ridiculously long name AND that horrendous nickname that mutt calls her. Plus, hasn't she turned out to be one big cutie? We're gonna have two cuties with us now, Anika and Ren." The guys said, grinning. I still didn't remember him. "Um… I'm terribly sorry, but can you tell me your name, I can't seem to place you…" I blushed and looked down. "It's Felix, sweetheart. I suppose I looked so dashing that you forgot my name." he joked, winking at me and wiggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly at me. I let out a tiny laugh. He was funny. "And it's Felix-1Alec-0. I made her laugh. You have a sweet laugh. It's like the tinkling of bells" Felix said, pretending to swoon. I laughed harder. Felix grinned. Alec scowled. "Are you both done?" he asked.

"Aww don't kill her mood Alec. Let her laugh. Maybe she'll rethink her marriage to Jacob and consider marrying me instead. After all, I gotta be a LOT hotter than the mutt, no?" The smile vanished of my face. Felix had, unknowingly hit the right spot. "What's wrong, doe?" Felix asked, looking at my suddenly pale face. Ignoring the question, I changed the topic and instead asked him, "Doe?" "Oh that. I hope you don't mind. It's my nickname for you. It came from your eyes. Their like a doe, so innocent and sweet." Felix said, tilting up my chin and smiling at me. "Thanks. That's very sweet of you, Felix." I gave him a wide smile.

"Now come on, let me take her to her room. I wanna finish the job and read." Alec said. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you wanted to read." "Why else would I go to the library, genius?" Alec said, rolling his eyes. Felix said, "I'll come with you. Do you play any games?" "I love games!" I said. He grinned. "Then let's go to the game room after you freshen up. We'll battle!" "Game on!" I smirked up at him. Alec sighed and said, "Don't you want to eat?" As if on cue, my stomach groaned. I blushed a bright pink as Alec smirked victoriously. Felix laughed and said, "We'll play later doe. Someone down there seems ravenous." I blushed again and said, "S-Sorry. I suppose the hunger that's evaded me for nearly a week has returned." It was true. I had barely eaten after the proposal. Dad had been worried sick, but Aunt Rose brushed it off as wedding woes. Still, it didn't stop dad from pestering granddad to check me up to see what was wrong with me. If only he knew that I just needed to get away from there.

Alec said to me, "Come on, let's get you some food. I can't have you fainting on me." I frowned and said, "Hey! I won't faint like a doll." He simply rolled his eyes and dragged me away.

Alec POV (sorry, couldn't resist adding this small little tidbit! It's just Alec's thoughts on Ren)

Wow! The Cullen spawn has _definitely _grown cute! I wonder why she wants us to call her Whitlock though. When Aro told us that she wanted to be referred by some other name, I was scared she'd ask me to call her by that dog's surname or something. What was his name? Jake…. No Jacob Black, right? Renesmee Black….. ughhh sounds horrible…

But why should it bother me? And why did she turn so pale when Felix joked about her marriage and then change the topic? And why do I care so much about her health? Actually…. Why am I even asking such questions…..to myself?  
_

It's okay to hide when you are afraid; it's okay to run then. But it is never okay to keep on running away, for it only brings the problem closer to you- who said it? I did :D It's for those who feel trapped like ren does….. whatever problem you are in, don't forget this.  
_

Welllllllllllllll….. how was it, folks? Alec is such a hottie, right? ;) anyways, PLEASE REVIEW! Love,  
Anika.


	7. Chapter 7-Beginning of it all

Ohaiyooo! Gomen, gomen gomen! I haven't posted for a while, I know but there was a lot of stuff in my mind. Well, here's renselec chapter seven for you! And to **temmi, Katie, lottievolturi** and everyone else who's followed and fav'd me and has reviewed, **arigatōgozaimashita! (Thank you very much!) **And guys _**PLEASE review**_! I do not own twilight!  
_

"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment."  
― Sarah Dessen, _The Truth About Forever__(credits to goodreads)  
__

Chapter 7-Beginning of it all

Ren POV

After reaching my room, I told Alec that I'd change and come out quickly. He nodded, pointed to a door across mine, and said, "This is my room. Knock on it when you're done." He went away.

I went in my room, which was no less than befitting a princess. My bag was already there. The closet was a large walk-in, and there were plenty of shelves waiting to be filled. I still had to un-pack. I decided to do it later, as Alec was probably already busy without having to look after me. Plus, he'd said that he wanted to read, and being an avid reader myself, I didn't want to keep him away from his books.

So I just took a quick shower, put on a full-sleeved tee with some shorts, (like yui komori from diabolic lovers anime, only with different colors) tied up my hair in a ponytail and grabbed my purse. I'd taken some money to help me buy any essentials, but not much. I wanted to make my own identity, not live off my family's money. I needed to look for a job soon.

Coming out, I knocked on Alec's door. He opened up and I saw that he had changed to wear a red shirt with a black blazer on it and pants and shoes(AN: kinda like yusuke asahina from brother's conflict. Love him 3)

He looked like he had just showered and his hair was still damp. It fell over his forehead in a sexy-messy kinda way, and made me envy him as to how he could look so perfect even with damp hair. His eyes were no longer blood red, instead they were an emerald green, and made him look possibly even more hotter. "Wow" I thought. "He must have a lot of girls after him. I wonder how his eyes changed color. Probably Anika or Jem, I guess. I don't mind. He looks even better."

I shook myself internally. "Stop thinking like that, ren." I realized that I was staring at him and blushed. We hadn't said a word. He was still looking at me. It made me curse myself as to why hadn't I, for once in my life, put on some make up.

Here he was, looking like a hot Hollywood actor, and here I was, like some inbred peasant-girl in rags. His gaze was still on me, intense. It made me even more conscious and I cleared my throat nervously. He immediately said, "Let's go." I nodded and started walking. "Snap out of it." I mentally scolded myself as we walked in silence. Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice the stairs and tripped right on the first one, and rolled all the way down.

"Nice going. You've charmed him now, with your cuteness." The baka-evil voice whispered from the back of my mind.

Suddenly, someone pulled me back by my waist against their chest. I gasped and turned to see Alec's green orbs gazing at me….. in concern? There was a frown on his face. "Are you alright?" he asked, his frown intact.

"I-I g-guess so..." I said, suddenly aware of two things: my ankle was throbbing, and I was pressed up against Alec, with his arms around me, and I was almost on his lap, my head against his chest. The latter made me blush. Alec gently pulled me up, standing up himself.

"Aaahh!" I cried out as waves of pain shot through my ankle. I lurched forward as my knees buckled and Alec lifted me up, holding me bridal-style. Even though my ankle was screaming in pain, I blushed at this.

He sat me on the bottom stair, taking care not to disturb my ankle. It was swollen. He gently took it in his hands, examining it. I whimpered."I'll get you a first aid box to bandage this up." He said, and was back in a flash.

I was mad at myself for being so clumsy. He had gotten an ice-pack as well, and handed it to me, saying, "Press it here, gently. Let the swelling come down." I pressed it and winced at the sudden coolness that caused it to ache. I bit my lip so I wouldn't scream.

"You're a clumsy fool, falling down like that. Tripping over nothing too. Seriously, shouldn't you be more careful?" he said, rolling his eyes. "Yeah. I guess I earned my other's genes in excess…." I laughed sheepishly.

"Can you walk?" he asked. I nodded and said, "I'll try. I just need a walking support." He pulled me up as gently as possible, trying not to disturb my now bandaged ankle. Still, pain shot through my leg. I ignored it and stood up on one leg. Alec put his arm around my waist, and then put my hand across his neck. It was a very slow walk, as I limped over to the garage.

And of course, it did not help my senses that Alec was so close to me. I shook my head, trying my hardest not to blush. "Is there a problem?" Alec asked me. I said, "No.". "Then why are you shaking your head like that?" he asked. "N-nothing." I replied, blushing. He raised his eyebrow but let it go.

"Wow, he probably thinks I'm a weirdo…." I thought to myself, sighing mentally. We entered the garage, which had nearly ten-twenty cars. And they weren't any normal ones, all pricey-rich and posh cars, like Ferrari and Lamborghini and Porsche and so on. Alec led me to a green Porsche and opened the passenger door for me, helping me in.

He sat in the car and pulled us out of the garage and onto the streets. "So would you prefer takeout from a restaurant, seeing that your ankle is injured?"Alec asked me. "We can sit somewhere else and eat." He said.

I thought about it. "Sure, sounds good. Is there a park or something else around here? Also, I wouldn't know what to eat..." I said, frowning.

"I'll order for you. But tell me, just how hungry are you?" As if on cue, my stomach growled. I blushed a dark red as Alec suddenly laughed. I looked at him, surprised and embarrassed at the same time. He looked at me, a smile on his face as his green eyes sparkled in mirth. "Your stomach sure has a mind of its own, answering so intelligently." He teased me. "Oh, it's nothing. You should see my feet. They're the most intelligent part of my body. Always doing things like forcing me to hug the floor, even if I don't want to." I answered breezily.

He laughed again. I liked his laughter. For some reason, seeing him smile and with a spark in his eyes like that, made me think that we were the same age and just like two highschoolers, having fun. It was relaxing, being with Alec. It made me forget for an instant, what I was doing here and who I was escaping from.

We stopped in front of a restaurant. 'Mario's Diner' was the name. "Wait here. I'll get you some food. How does lasagna sound?" he asked. I nodded. He went off.

I looked around. Volterra sure was a scenic place, filled with quaint streets and lovely, grand, old and elegant castles. What I was attracted most to was the big fountain that was in front of the diner. It had a statue of a woman/angel with wings raised up. However, there were dark, empty sockets for her eyes with only the iris in the shape of balls and there were strange –looking cuts on her neck, three on each side. She was wearing a cloak and looked powerful and mesmerizing, exuding a mysterious glow around her. The water seemed to come from the air itself, as I couldn't see any sort of contraption for the water to come.

I wanted to explore more. Alec had brought us to the perfect place for an outing, with a mysterious looking fountain and even a small park behind the diner. There were benches around the park, and most were unoccupied.

By the time I finished looking around, Alec had returned. He looked at me and said, "Do you want to eat in the car, or do you want to sit out and eat?"

"It's a nice day. Plus, there's nobody around, so it's pretty quiet… let's sit on one of those benches and eat." I said to him, pointing out one at random. He nodded and went off again. He came back empty handed and swiftly picked me up and put me down on the bench where he had put down the food.

We sat in comfortable silence, with the only sound coming from the crackle of the paper carton. I ate in peace. I looked at Alec. He as leaning back with his eyes closed, and looked so peaceful; it was as if he was sleeping. "Who changed your eye-color?" I asked him, feeling curious.

"Anika did it for me. I couldn't exactly run around with red eyes, sparkling in the sun, could I? The witches have cast spells for years, to protect the denizens of the darker world, and kept our existence a secret." he said. "Really...? How come my family never mentioned that to me?" I muttered to myself.

"Your family has chosen to live like the mortals, and not hidden in secrecy, like most of our kind do. They don't like the methods of killing and slaughtering humans for their blood. Nor do they wish to deceive humans. It's their choice, and you being a member of their family, have had to follow it too." Alec said, shrugging.

"But they could have at least told me about the existence of other such people…."I said, feeling a bit mad. "It's like, I'm so naïve. I don't know anything about the outside world. This is why I had to get away. I need to find myself." I said.

Alec looked at me curiously. "So that's why you came here?" "Yeah, I guess." I said. "But why did you choose Italy of all places, a place that your family would never send you to? And why the name Whitlock? I have to admit, you've really aroused my curiosity." Alec said to me, facing me completely, his attention focused on my next words.

Surprising myself, I said, "I really don't have an answer to your first question other than the fact of fate. As to your second one, I have always had this strong connection with my uncle Jasper. We've been very close since childhood. He's the only one in my family who hasn't mollycoddled me and has given me the best thing ever- freedom. He has always sorted me out, even without using his power of empathy. He used to tell me all sorts of gory tales of war and such. He told me of the military, and what it was to fight for an ideal, and taught me principles of honor and discipline. I am closest to him, and hence the name Whitlock."

Alec looked and me and nodded, then said, "What do you mean by him sorting out your feelings without the use of his power?"

I took a deep breath. Should I tell him of my power of being a shield? My parents had strictly warned me not to, but after all that the Volturi had done for me, how could I not tell? "I have dual powers. Not only can I send illusions, but I can also put a shield, just like my mom."

"Illusions?" Alec asked, confused.

"It's easier for me to explain like this" I said and put my hand on his cheek. It was cold, but still, a warm shiver passed through me. Ignoring the little skip-beat of my heart, I showed him my memories of uncle Jasper telling a seven-year old me of his days in the military, dad being horrified at this and yelling at him to stop corrupting his innocent daughter, me crying and begging uncle jazz to tell me more and my mother and aunt Alice laughing at my father's crestfallen face upon hearing me ask for more gory stories of war.

Alec's eyes widened at first, but he slowly started to grin at my story. When I was done he looked at me and teased, "You're a psychotic girl, asking for tales of blood like that." I shrugged and offered him an innocent smile and said, "Who, me? How can you accuse me of that?"

Then I realized that my hand was still on his cheek. So I showed him more and more memories of my childhood. He was a good listener, if you can call it that. He laughed at some, looked at me weirdly for some time with Jacob, smiled at some and just looked at me for most of the time.

I tried not to be conscious of his stare, as I didn't want to accidentally transmit that feeling. We spent the whole day like that, and by the time it was done, it was already evening, with the setting sun splashing its orange-red hues across the sky.

When we reached the castle, he suddenly turned to me and said, "I had a great day. Thank you." And turned away from me. I blushed and said, "You weren't the only one. It was great for me too. By the way, sorry for keeping you away from your book."

He turned back to me and smirked and said, "Oh don't worry. Today was way better than he book, I'm afraid." "Really? Thanks." I said. His smirk turned wider as he began to walk away to his room.

I followed him and just as I was about to enter my own, he swiftly turned back and said, "After all, it's not every day that a girl tells you just how PERFECT you look and how she adoooores your eyes and how she wants to stay in your arms forever and how flustered she gets when you look at her….. and what makes it more interesting is that she doesn't even say it all out loud!" his green eyes were full of mischief.

I blushed fifty shades of red and stammered, "W-WHAT?! H-how di-did you g-g-get a—aall o-of that?" I looked anywhere but his piercing green orbs. He pushed both him arms on both sides of my head, so that I was trapped. He tilted my chin up with his finger so that I was forced to look at him and said, "Don't worry. I loved those words of praise." And then he winked at me. I pushed him away and ran into my room, breathing hard.

I heard a new voice outside. It was Jem's. "Did you come back just now? How was it?" Alec said, "Oh we had tons of fun. By the way, do you think it's possible for me to keep this new eye-color on for forever?" I moaned, blushing the fifty-first shade of red. I was so dead. Alec laughed outside, that moron, while Jem asked him confusedly why he wanted to do that

HOW WAS IT? did you like it? then review! I had plenty of fun with this chapter! 


	8. Chapter 8-Settling in, Heading out

Konnichiwa! I just want to thank ALL the reviewers and say a BIG SORRY Firstly, here's a big heartfelt thanks going to volturiravenwitc, my first reviewer! Thanks a ton for your review, it made me very very happy! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well! And please, keep on reviewing, Guys! Revie loves it, right?

Revie: YES! PRESS ME! PRESS MEE!

Me: he's on a sugar rush, sorry! And I do not own twilight; I just own my OC's and my plot! Happy reading!

Revie: PRESS ME! *DOES SOMERSAULT*  
**_**

**Chapter 8 – Settling in, Heading out**

Ren POV ***MOSTLY A FLASHBACK.***

I was completely embarrassed last night. Gods, how did I give away all those thoughts! After Jem and Alec went away, Anika came to my room, just as Leah called. I told both of them everything, on one condition: Anika had to put up a silencing spell/charm/shield or whatever on my room so that nobody else could listen how well I'd made a fool out of myself.

She did it, and then I officially introduced her to Lee. She didn't sound surprised at all over the existence of witches, a fact that made it clear just how naïve I was. Anika and Lee bonded pretty well and pretty fast. I was satisfied.

Then they kind of made a pact and forced me to tell every single detail. Every. Single. Goddamn. Detail. They went into splits as they heard about how Alec found out about my thoughts on him, while I sat there obstinately, redder than Snow-white's ruby lips.

They literally laughed for an hour, before Lee finally managed to wheeze out, "Hey, at least he's someone you like, and he doesn't lie to you, unlike a certain bastard I know."

Both went quiet at the mention of his name, expecting me to say something.

I asked, "How's he? And where are you right now? Did he find you?" Lee sighed, before answering, "I didn't want to tell you this…." I was immediately alert. "What happened? Tell me _everything, _Lee." She took a deep breath and said, "Your family came back early, unfortunately. Something about Alice panicking as to how she hadn't planned anything properly. So they returned. I left before they came, fortunately. Currently, I'm hiding, cause' your father's with them and I don't want him to read my thoughts. Even with the shield you put on me before leaving, I don't want to risk it. I am communicating with them purely on a phone call basis. All of them are distraught at your disappearance, Ren. Especially your Mom and Dad. I've managed to keep them aloof while explaining your dilemma as best as I could without giving you away. Jacob is ballistic. And so is Sam. Heck, the whole pack of those nut jobs is pretty infuriated. But I really don't give a shit. I'll hold the fort down for you, don't worry. And call your uncle Jasper, or your aunt Alice. They met me secretly, asking me to convey this message to you. Don't call your family till I tell you to. For now, focus on getting a job, settling in, and figuring out yourself. I'll tell you when the waters are calm enough for you to have a sane conversation with the rest of your family."

I was distraught. This was exactly what I feared would happen. The thought of my family hurt brought tears to my eyes. Mitsuko's arms went around me as she pulled me closer and stroked my back, letting me cry my heart out.

"Leah? Don't worry; I'll get her to call. I'll take care of her here; you take care there, okay?"

Mitsuko spoke on the phone in gentle tones. "Yeah, okay Mitsu-chan. Bye Mitsu-chan, bye Renny." So saying, the phone clicked shut. I quietly sobbed in Mitsu's arms as she comforted me, softly tracing soothing circles on my back.

It was a long time before I stopped.

Then she said, "Hey, don't worry about it, okay? You're here to figure things out, not tangle them more. You need to focus on new things instead of letting the past rule. Let Lee handle your parents and the rest of them. Jacob can go kill himself. I don't care about him, honestly. I find it quite horrible that he played a trick on you to earn your love. That's not only wrong, but also dishonorable. So forget him for a while. For now, let's focus on making your stay here pleasant. Tomorrow we'll go and find a job for both of us, and then I have to train. I think you should train to fight too, if you want to live independently…." She finished, trailing off.

I thought about it. Uncle Jazz had taught how to control my powers and try to project my illusions without touching a person, as well as how to project my shield to protect several people, but that was about it.

I didn't have any special weapons training, nor could I use my power of illusion on several people at once.

I told Anika all about it. She nodded and said, "Then you can learn some now, right? It won't be of any harm to you. I bet Aro would agree."

I decided I would talk about it the next day. I was tired, so I and Anika slept pretty quickly.

***NEXT DAY BEGINS FROM HERE*** Ren POV

I was awakened by the sound of Anika shuffling around. I sat up and yawned.

She smiled at me and said, "Finally woke up? I didn't wanna wake you up as you had quite an excursion yesterday. Hope you had sweet dreams of him!" She winked at the last part as I moaned and blushed.

I knew it. Now she was going to tease me to no end.

She laughed and threw a pair of clothes at me and said, "Go and take a bath. And wash your hair. It looks like a pair of crows nested in it."

I came out of the bathroom. Anika was sitting on my bed, wearing a pair of denim shorts with a yellow tank and a jacket on top.

Her brown hair was tied in a pretty side pony and she had a pair of sneakers on.

We went downstairs, bumping into Jane on the way. She looked at me and said, "Hope you woke up fine."

I knew it was meant to be polite, but her face looked pinched, as if she was forced to do this.

I said to her, "Jane, it's okay. You don't have to force yourself to be polite.

I'd rather you be hateful but honest towards me rather than being polite and dishonest towards me. That way I can really earn your friendship."

Anika nodded and said, "Ren's right. I know you may feel very hostile towards us, but I'll try my best to be your friend."

Jane looked surprised and relived. Then she slowly smiled, and I saw a spark of acceptance in her eyes. It was very different then what I'd heard from my mother about Jane being inhuman and ruthlessly cruel, filled with spite.

She softly said, "You both are very different than I thought you'd be, half-breeds. I was imagining spoilt brats, what with Anika being the only half human witch girl and Ren being the only half human vampire girl. It's nice to meet you, and this time I'm speaking the truth."

Anika beamed and said, "Now that's more like it. It's a pleasure to meet you too. By the way, we need a bit of help. You see, Ren here needs to train. So can she be included in my class? Also, we need to find ourselves a job too."

Jane looked thoughtful for a minute and said to me, "You want to train, too?" I nodded and said, "Yes. I know how to project my illusions without touching a person, as well as how to project my shield to protect several people, but that's about it. If possible, I'd love to learn more." She smiled and said, "Of course you can. About your job, I think you should take a look at this café… it's a maid/waitress only café, and you have to dress up like a maid too… I think they needed three workers…you'll need to find out. Let's go after you've eaten something."

So we set out in hopes of finding a real job. The café was called 'A cuppa Juanita' and the owner explained that it was her mother's café, whose name was Juanita. Her name was Jeanne, and she was quite a cheerful young woman of 26.

She said that only two positions were open, which was perfect for both of us. Her brother ran a bar next to the café called 'The Amber Shotglass', and the waitresses in the café could alternately work in both. The dress code was the same for the café and the bar.

There was no male staff in the café, but there were male bartenders in the bar, dressed occasionally as butlers. I and Anika decided to take both shifts, at the café as well as the bar. It would help with the money, too.

We were a bit apprehensive about dressing up as a maid, but both Jeanne and her brother Daniel assured us of our safety and explained that the reason male staff was allowed in the bar and not in the café was this only. The boys hired in the bar were thoroughly checked, and were all respectable gentleman, so that no guy in or out could try to misbehave with the girl staff.

We learnt how to make lattes, espressos, Americano's, pints and such. It was funny, as Anika dropped her first latte on Daniel by tripping and landing on top of him, straddling him. She was mortified, and blushed a cherry red; screaming a thousand 'sorry's' at him, all the while glaring at me and Jane, who were in splits. It was funny, as she tried to be mad and sorry and the same time. Daniel simply laughed it off.

However, she got her revenge too, as I slipped and landed right in the bartender's lap, the shot glass on my head. I moaned, burying my head as Anika and Jane fell on the floor laughing.

When we tried on our uniforms, it was even more embarrassing. We had to wear drawers underneath, and mine were a bit loose….. you can imagine the rest. Out I go walking, as gracefully as I can with a tray in my hand, and Bang! My drawers come down. Much to the amusement of Juanita, unfortunately.

By the time we learnt everything, it was once again late evening. Juanita sent us off, wheezing about how 'She was going to get tons of customers' and how 'Not even one day would be dull from now on.' Daniel agreed, smirking at us. Me and Anika? We simply tried to outdo cherries.

When we got out, after discovering a new type of cherry, Jane turned back to us and smiled. She said, "I had a simply _hilarious_ day. Honestly, I don't remember the last time I'd laughed so much. I'd like to hang out with you again."

Anika grinned and said, "Glad we entertained you. And why don't you come out with us sometime? I'd love it."

Jane nodded and said, "Sure. For now, I have to go though. Duties from Aro… Sorry, bye!" and she left.

I decided that now was probably the best time to call my Uncle. Sighing,I said to Anika, " I guess I should call uncle Jas, right?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. Time to face the music, I guess, I thought to myself and pulled out my phone.

*evil laugh* here's a cliffhanger. Don't worry, I plan to update soon, just after I finish my other story on amnesia oneshots! If you are a fan, please read! And REVIEW! Love, Anika


	9. Chapter 9 Old faces, New talks

**Hi again! So yes, I'm back and here is the newest chapter of I'm a falling star! Sorry for the little cliffy back there! But honestly guys, it's rather silly when a story has more than a thousand views but only like seven reviews? **** it kinda makes me sad and scratch my head, wondering whether you like my story or not. And to those who has fav/followed me/my story, thanks a TON. But please do review, on any random chapter that you thought was best. Now I will take you directly to the story! Bye and yes,**

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, JUST my oc's and the plot! **

_**Its funny how someone who was just a stranger last year, can mean so much to me this year. It's funny how someone who meant so much last year has become a stranger this year. It's funny, what a year can do. **_

Chapter 9-

Ren POV

I dialed the number I loved and dreaded the most. The phone rang nearly five times before a voice I knew all too well answered. "Renessmee? Thank goodness you called. I was so worried….. we all were." Uncle Jazz said. I could hear the relief in his voice, along with a hidden tone of anger. Uh-oh. I was _so _dead. "Hey." I answered meekly.

"You run away a month before your marriage and all you say to me is 'hey'?" I heard the disbelief in his voice. "Well, it's a conversation starter, isn't it?" I said innocently, hoping to be spared. I heard him sigh. "How about we skip the 'how-are-you's' and head on to the 'what the hell were you thinking?'" he asked with barely repressed anger.

"Uncle Jazz…." I trailed off, as all the tears that I'd held back threatened to choke me again. It felt like ages since I'd last heard his voice, and it brought a strong sense of homesickness. I completely broke down while still clutching the phone to my ear.

"Renesmee?... tell me what happened to you. Tell me _everything._ Why you suddenly turned silent after the whole wedding news, then all those I'm-not-hungry bouts, those periods of silent anger when you thought no one was in the house... and then this. What caused all of this Ren? Are you not happy with this marriage? Did that dog say or do something wrong? Is the imprint bothering you? If so, just tell me, poppet. We'll fix everything." He said, his voice now a soft caress.

That was just like him. Even while bereft of his ability of empathy, he knew me so well. He had understood my silence on the whole wedding issue and made the most accurate deduction on it. I continued to sob on Anika's shoulder as she held me close, allowing me to gather myself.

I took a deep breath and said, "_Everything's _wrong, Uncle Jazz. Oh my gods, I've been made a complete fool of. Jacob _tricked me, _his best friend. Can you believe it? he said t-that h-he was t-to die soon because o-of a-a d-d-disease that h-he got. And then he pro-proposed to me. And I th-thought he was seri-serious and I-I said- said y-yes. And then h-he told me i-it wa-was a joke and they a-all laughed. T-the whole p-ack. A-and then I realized that I was such a naïve girl. Io am not strong enough to survive in this world, if I fell for such a dumb joke. What identity do I have other than Renesmee Cullen, half vampire freak show? I do not know. So please, uncle Jazz, don't let anyone know about this. It may sound stupid since I've already run away from this marriage, but I want to find myself. I need to know who I am. I want to discover new paths for me. As for this marriage, I haven't taken a decision as of yet, whether I shall go on with it or not. There are many people whose lives hang on my decision, so I am going to have to think about it. please uncle Jazz, I _need _time."

I heard a soft sigh before he said, "That bastard. I, rather _no one _of us had even the slightest idea that this was the cheap trick he pulled to propose you. I'll kill that bastard, I swear. Causing you to run away and cry like this….. and if its time you need, you will get it. but how much? You need to take a decision soon, my poppet. For _your _sake, atleast. I can feel that this is only half the story as to why you ran. It's okay if you can't tell me right now. I will wait for you to come clean. But where _are_ you?"

"Ummmmm….. promise you won't be mad." I bit my lip childishly. "What? Why? Where are you exactly?" now I could hear his wary, stern tone. "Promise." I insisted. "Fine." He sighed. "I'mkindastayingatthevolturi'scuzIkindametAroandIkindatoldhim_everything_andhekindafeltsadformystateandhekindaallowedmetostayandIkindasaidyes." I spoke in a rush, hoping he wouldn't get it. But of course, vampire hearing.

**{A.N.: IF YOU DO NOT GET REN'S SENTENCE IT MEANS THIS: I'm kinda staying at the volturi's cuz I kinda met Aro and I kinda told him **_**everything **_**and he kinda felt sad for my state and he kinda allowed me to stay and I kinda said yes.}**

There was such a long pause on the other end that I hesitatingly asked, "Uncle Jazz….. you there?"

The answer came, "Sorry, I'm running back home from France. I need to meet Carlisle and see if vampire's _can _indeed, be sick. My hearing seems to have been blocked. Then, if I get a negative report stating that I am not sick, I shall come to Italy to pick up your sorry ass and take you back home, where you can have a lovely time explaining your shit to your parents with not even an _ounce_ of help from me. "

I sighed and said, "Uncle Jazz, your hearing is fine. What I said is the truth. Now pleeeeeaassssseeee don't say that. I am _safe _here, as ironic as that might sound to you. Aro has been the best to me and so have the others. In fact, I even got a job and made new friends here! And that reminds me, why did you guys never tell me that other supernatural beings other than vampires and werewolves exist?" I asked, a bit miffed.

"You are safe there? And which creature did you meet? Good heavens, girl, you are just like you mother. A complete danger magnet." He groaned.

"Well, I met two witch siblings, Anika and James Chevalier on the plane to here. They are staying with me at Volterra. Leah is my only friend from the wolf pack, it was she who helped me escape. She's amazing! And yesterday, I met Aro, Caius and Marcus. Caius was not that nice, but he understood, I suppose. Oh! I also met Felix, and we had a great bonding. He even nick-named me! He calls me 'doe' because of my eyes. I don't really understand, but he's _really _funny, just like Uncle Emmett! This morning, I had a whopper of a time while searching for a job with Anika and Jane. Jane is really nice, Uncle Jazz! Don't know why you guys hated her in the first place! And I also met her brother, Alec, yesterday….. He's really great too." I blushed at the thought of what happened yesterday between me and Alec. Anika, who was sitting next to me, smirked and wiggled her eyebrows.

"That's a LOT for me to digest. Tell me everything slowly, please. Care a bit for your poor uncle's dead heart here." He said, after a short pause.

So I told him everything. Except the Alec incident, of course. If I would have told him that, I was going to be taken away from here for sure.

He interrupted once while I told him of my waitress costume and bar job to say, "You better be careful. If any guy misbehaves, knock his head off. And NO going off with any random guy that asks you out." "Yes sir." I said in a strong voice.

"You'd _better._ Or you are _so_ dead." Said uncle Jasper. "Bye uncle Jasper. Call you when something new happens, okay?" I said.

"Bye, sweetheart. Miss you." He replied. "I miss you." I said and cut the phone.

Okay, not so great, I know.. Alec might be back in the next chapter…. I don't know…

Love, IreneAshlynn.


	10. Chapter 10-Begin Again

Welll…. I'm not dead… and here's the newest chapter of I'm a falling star…. Hopefully, you'll like it!

Chapter 10- Begin Again

Ren POV

Finally, a new day has begun. Now I can focus on other things like work and training, instead of that dog. I and Mitsu-chan begin work starting today. I'm sooo excited! I jumped out of bed in eager anticipation and quickly got dressed as casually as possible, knowing that I'll have to change later on anyways.

I bounded on the stairs, two at a time, till I bumped into someone's hard chest, hitting my nose. "Oww!" I muttered, looking up at the person whom I bumped into. It was a boy who looked about my age, with blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. "Well, well, to think of my luck so good…. Allowing me to bump into a pretty girl so early in the morning... oh, what have I done to deserve such a favor?" he says, in a soft, almost husky voice, smiling.

My eyes widen at his sentence. Pretty? Who? Me? Luck? Favor? What is he talking about? I keep looking at him for a long time till he says, "I know I'm amazingly hot, but still there has to be a limit to your staring in public, honey. Of course, when we're alone, I'll let you stare at me for as long as you like." His statement causes a wide blush to spread across my face, which causes him to smirk.

"Umm… who are you?" I ask softly, looking anywhere but his pretty blue eyes. "Well, my apologies. I am Demitri of the Volturi. Do you know that you are in their castle? And who exactly are you, pretty girl?" he asks, smirking even wider at my discomfort.

"Yes, of course I know that I'm here… and …. I'm Ren, Ren Whitlock. Formerly known as Renesmee Cullen. But please call me Ren." I say back, now in a firmer voice. He smiles and looks at me from head to toe.

"What a beautiful name for a pretty lady like you. Ah, you've most certainly _grown, _though not so much in some places as I'd hoped…. Well, one can't have everything, can we?" he says, grinning as if he's just made a spectacular joke. I don't understand what exactly he meant by my 'growth' but he sure said it in a weird, almost snide way.

"…" I keep staring at him. I have no idea what to make of him, but I don't have time for this. I don't want to be late on my very first day! So I say to him, "Sorry, but I'm in a rush… I have to go and work… so if you could please excuse me…"

He grins as I walk away from him, which makes me think he's probably got some issues. Or else why would he smirk and grin like that?

I shake him off my mind, hoping that I won't meet anyone else like him on my way. But my luck seems sore to me, and I meet another guy, this one with brown hair and brown eyes. He says to me, "Are you the hybrid that Aro invited to stay with us?" in such an arrogant and apathetic voice that I almost feel as if I've done something wrong.

I'm tempted to look down, there's something so very cold in his brown eyes that sends a shudder down my spine. He's looking at me in a bored manner, and suddenly I realize that he WANTS me to be scared and intimidated of him. That he considers me a fool, an idiot for even existing.

For some reason, this doesn't sit well with me, and I stand up straight, meet his eyes with a small defiant look and say, "Yes, I am the half-human, half-vampire that Aro invited. But 'hybrid' is not my name. My name is Ren Whitlock."

He smirks, and his eyes appraise me. I don't know why, but it's like his opinion of me hasn't changed in the slightest. "Ren Whitlock?" he says in a mocking tone. "What, is that your way to rebel against your goody-two shoes image that your family has set up so perfectly for you? Or is it a way to escape the reality that's going to bind you down soon? I'm not impressed in the least. Try harder if you want me to take notice of you, hybrid."

His words struck an old, too strained, too stretched chord in my heart. And I'm sure that my expression confirms his words, because I can see the all-too knowing look in his eyes. How can he know all of this? All my insecurities, summed up so perfectly, by a complete stranger. Wait, he's not the only one. Earlier, with Demitri too, he gave me the same look.

Am I this vulnerable? Perhaps Alec, Felix and Jane saw right through me too, but were too kind to torment me the way these two are. This is where I have to take a stand, and explain my situation right? But WHAT is my situation? JUST WHAT is it that I'm escaping from? Jacob, or me? I have no answer to this guy's unasked question. He seems to gain this and smirks. He says, "Colin's the name, though don't wear it out. It will be nice to have you here, confused hybrid. Hmph, all of this is like a really crappy shoujo manga… well, it all depends on how YOU answer, doesn't it?"

I stare at him, dumbfounded. As he walks away from me, he whispers something in my ear, something that makes my eyes widen.

I stay in the hallway for a long time, motionless and stiff. But my thoughts are moving at 5000 miles a second. I am lost.

But I know I can find my way, even in this slimy darkness that encases me. What am I here for? Why am I fighting against the tide? Maybe I should just return. After all, I'm too naïve. Everyone here has seen right through me, even before I could begin anew. Isn't there somebody to help me in this darkness? I need a hand. I stretch out my hand desperately, hoping someone will pull me out.

Suddenly, a hand grabs my shoulder, shaking me. The darkness about me clears apart and I meet an angry pair of green eyes I'm somehow familiar with. "Oi, what are you doing down here, crying and stretching your hand like that?" It's Alec's voice. I realize that he has grabbed my right hand, which I'd held out unconsciously. He looks at me with anger, annoyance and a teensy bit of concern.

"Why am I here?" I ask him blindly, still too lost to realize that he has no answer for my stupid and illogical question. He will probably take it as pertaining to me being in the hallway, not HERE, in Volterra. But I still look at him in anxiousness, my eyes demanding an answer that I myself do not know.

He looks mad for a second and says, "What the hell do you mean? Did you lose yourself in this place?"

"No…. why am I HERE, in Volterra?" I whisper out, desperately begging him for an answer, any answer that will tell me why I decided to fight. He looks at me as if he's unsure what to do with me and smacks my head, saying, "Just how am I supposed to know that? Wasn't it your freaking decision to come here? What, you're chickening out? Tch. Coward. And you were doing normally yesterday."

My eyes widen. I realize that Alec has unknowingly given me an answer, but it's surprisingly right. It was MY choice to come here. And I'd already begun anew yesterday, by making new friends and new memories. So why am I hesitating now? I need to walk this path, and I'm going to do it damn well. Yes, these people have seen through my childish attempt to start fresh. But somehow, even with their harsh words, they are encouraging me not to stop.

THAT was what Colin was trying to say. That's why Jem and Anika brought me along. That was what Alec was doing when he spent a whole day with me. Jane and Felix and even Demitri. Now I can't stop. I wipe away the tears that had unknowingly come out.

I straighten up and start to walk away, whispering a "Thank you." to Alec. He catches my arm to stop me and says, almost abashedly, "Listen. I don't know what's gotten into you today. But I just want to let you know that if you really want to change yourself, to go to the extreme of changing your name, I'll be watching. It was a shock for me to see you when you first came here. You've certainly changed, it's almost as if you're in some problem or something. You seem desperate to do something, and I don't know what that is, but I'll still ... You are no longer that mutt-loving brat that I came to kill, I think. That's the only reason I've approved of you this far. So, don't… give up, I guess."

I feel a warmth spread in my chest. I was right. Everyone has seen through me, yet they are somewhat supporting me. So I won't give up! I turn to Alec and look at him straight in the eye and give him my best smile. He seems to understand, and looks a bit relieved.

We walk off in different directions, me towards the exit of the castle and he towards the inside. But, I'm pretty sure, that our thoughts are the same. We're both encouraging me to move on, ALREADY!

I give my characters a lot of pain right? Perhaps because I feel it too… well anyway, PLEASE review! ONEGAISHIMASU *bows deeply* and please forgive me for not updating soon! GOMENASAI *bows again* and thank you for liking and 'favorite'-ing my stories! It makes me feel awesome, like I'm a real author *blushes*

Revie: But we know she isn't, she's just a lousy potato sack who eats and eats and watches anime and reads manga. She doesn't have any problems, and that's why she doesn't update quickly.

ME: REVIEEEEE! HOW COULD YOU!? DOSHITE?! NANDE?! Anyways, please ignore Revie and tell me your views! -Anika


	11. It's a heart in waiting

YES YES I KNOW! I am an absolute prat when it comes to updating, but I can't give shit to you guys to read, can I? This story WILL take a lot of time, so please bear with this potato of an author. The reason I'm not updating is because I had the CRAPPIEST writer's block. EVER.

Revie: She doesn't own anything except her Oc's and isn't making a darn nickel from this, ya'all.

_  
Time doesn't move on, you do.- Me  
_

There's a possibility

Ren POV

Since my last encounter with Alec, we haven't really met each other. Which is understandable, considering the fact that he had to go for a mission all the way in New Orleans. Well, to the normal person. I am most certainly NOT understanding this. Okay, I know I am being unreasonable, but Alec said he'd be back in like, a week. Yet, whenever I pass his room, he is most certainly not there for reasons yet not given. I want to meet him.

Those days I spent with him don't seem to be enough for my patience. I know he's really busy; he's in the goddamn Volturi! But I… he _said _he'd be back soon right? A week to be precise. A week has long passed, yet he shows no signs of appearing.

I feel irate. Though the reason might not have much to do with him, and more with Leah's last call, it feels right to blame Alec for not showing up soon. The depth of my sudden feelings for him surprises even me. I haven't ever felt such a strong surge of emotion for anyone, such a strong desire to just have someone close, just there.

My days were passing by at the speed of a running ostrich, and I was returning to my normal self. Training with Jem and Anika, working at the café, eating, reading, showering and sleeping.

All of this had become a routine for me very soon, and was disrupted only when Leah called to inform me of my reality. Those days passed in a blur. It was nothing new that Leah told me- Dad was angry and distraught, Mom was worried, Aunt Rose and Uncle Em were confused, grandpa and grandma were hurt and worried, Sam and Jacob were furious and the only people stopping them from launching a universal manhunt were Uncle Jazz, Aunt Ali and Leah.

The main person I was worried for here was Leah. She was still hiding, but I was scared that she would be found out, that the shield I'd placed on her would weaken and Jacob would come to know. Everyone would know. Leah would be given the third degree by the rest of the wolf pack, as if the one she used to receive wasn't enough.

I was learning to smile, yes. But my smile on the days Leah called was one of weariness, not happiness.

Yet I never wanted to leave here. I had made new friends. The Volturi was slowly thawing at me being here. Well some of them. Aro was pleased to see me "Grow into a sensible, strong young lady" whenever he saw me train. Caius was oh-so-quick to point out just _where _and _how exactly_ I made a fool of myself, but I appreciated him doing that for me, even cheekily thanked him for it. He simply narrowed his eyes and muttered "Don't talk, you disgraceful brat. Improve." Fine, most of the Volturi did that with me, especially Jem and Colin and Demitri. Yet I preferred, even liked this direct method of telling the truth and confrontation. I guess it's not rocket science why I liked it.

Jane, Anika, Leah, Jem, Demitri, Felix, Aro, Alec, even Caius and Marcus and Colin….all of them were quickly becoming close to me. It was astonishing, the ones who were once considered as fatal enemies to me are now people whom I consider close friends. It's funny, how much change time creates.

When I told this to Jem, he shook his head and said, "I don't think time has changed, Ren. Things are still the same. You have a family that adores you to death and whom you adore equally, the Volturi are still the same. They have not changed themselves in any way; it's just that _you _never saw them in this light. The only one changing here is _you._"

I frowned and said, "I don't quite understand." Jem sighed and said, "Tell me honestly, are you the same you were a month ago? I mean, would you have the guts to run away like this and live among people considered as enemies then? You feel you've been betrayed. That feeling has changed you. You are slowly learning to stand on your own feet and face the world as you are, hopefully having no regrets. That anger and hurt you felt for Jacob has pushed you off the cliff Ren. Now all you gotta do is find your balance. Then you'll fly. Of course, you're still naïve, impulsive, silly, reckless and childish. Yet you are brave. You have what it takes to be thrown in the fire yet not be burnt. That is why I'm here. That is why Anika and Leah and Jane have become your friends. That's why Aro did not order your decapitation and let you live. You had a spark, and I wanna watch you become a fire. We all do. Even Alec. Alec especially, I think." He smirked and a mischievous twinkle entered his blue-green eyes at the last part.

I was shocked. I did not know ether to hug him or blush. I did both. He chuckled and ruffled my hair. "Thank you. That meant a lot to me. I feel it's an honor you actually said that to me." I whispered.

He laughed. "An honor? Aww Ren, I'm glad it's dark. I am blushing now. If you want, I'll write you a certificate and stick a gold star on it" he said, grinning.

I punched his arm and said, "Oh, shut up you!"

"So, about Alec." He said in a more serious voice. I looked at him, confused as to why he brought up this topic now.

"You've been sending longing glances to a door that isn't yours, sighing for the past three days at work according to imouto chan, and pestering Afton with phone calls. So, I guess you're not xylophilic or crushing over Afton, so it would be safe to say you're missing Alec right?" he said, looking at me with a knowing look.

I blushed and said, "Was I THAT obvious?" Okay, I _knew _I'd glance at Alec's door and spend large amounts of time in the library, but that was because of two reasons: one, majorly because I love books. Two: ….Well, I kinda sorta just remember Alec's voice when he said he loved books and go there…..

Jem looked at me and said bluntly, "Yes. So since I couldn't stand it, or rather, my sister, Jane and Leah love playing matchmaker, we called Alec. He's coming. Now."

My jaw dropped and hit the stones on the pavement below. "You WHAT? Anika and Leah and Jane WHAT? THEY…..WHEN?...he….. WHY?"

Jem sent me a dry look and said, "Impressive eloquence you have there. He's coming about now. Do you intend to use it to make him fall for you?"

"NOW?!" I screeched. "OH MY GODS. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" "Oh but I just did." He said, smiling at me. "I MEAN BEFORE!" I squeaked.

Good heavens, I came out here with Jem in my pajamas. It's all Jem's fault! He woke me up at 1 in the night and dragged me out here, where I first went out with Alec. I was wearing BOY shorts(unisex boxers ya'll… I LOVE them!) and my drab-looking, yet comfy long-sleeved t-shirt. Not to mention, my hair is a rat's nest that I did not bother combing. I frantically ran my hands through it and smoothened down my outfit. Jem was laughing, that git. "Have fun, Ren." He winked and ran off.

"STOP YOU IDIOT!" I tried to yell, but he was long gone, his laughter echoing back at me.

From my back came a voice. A voice that I have missed for a LONG time. It said, "You know, yelling at empty spaces is considered to be a small, preliminary stage of most psychological disorders."

I whirled around. There he was, just as I remembered him, only looking a tad bit tired. I squeaked.

**I SWEAR TO MERLIN I DID NOT WANT TO END HERE! It's just, I am sitting in my inner room, and the A.C is on, and my fingers are frozen! I swear I'll update tomorrow!**

**_peace out, Anika**


	12. Chapter 12- Siren calls

**Yosh, I AM BACK AS PROMSED, a bit late though…..! It's like, sometimes, zero inspiration hits you. But when it finally does, it's a bloody ocean! So without further ado, hereeeee's chapter 12 of I'm a falling star! I hope you have as much fun reading this as I do typing it!**

**Revie: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! This girl does NOT own anything! ANYTHING!**

**Me:….. You don't have to be so harsh at us, Revie…..**

* * *

Chapter 12- Siren calls

Ren POV

I stared at Alec, a bit dumbfounded. Okay, a LOT dumbfounded. He didn't look happy to see me. On the contrary, he seemed frustrated and angry. "You…returned." I said finally, kicking myself inwardly.

"Yes, I'm back. Why wouldn't I be?" he asked me bluntly. I was a bit taken aback. Why was he sounding so irritated at me? What did I do? I racked my brains. Oh! Could it be possible Afton told him about the thousands of texts and phone calls I sent about him? Oh my gods, no! I decided that had to ask about it….. but how to start?

"So…. How was it? The mission I mean. You look pretty tired." I said cautiously, not wanting to make him mad at me. There was a long pause, and it was killing me.

"…..I am not tired. Is that why you called me here, at this time?" he finally asked. "…Well, no. How is Afton? He went with you, didn't he?" I asked, deciding to be, rather try to be discreet. It didn't work well, for his eyes turned even darker. Almost ice-cold, pitch black. I inwardly shuddered. So he HAD heard something? Or not? The 'maybe, maybe not' was sawing through my brain. Gathering my wits, I continued, "Where is Afton? Did you guys talk? Did he go directly to the castle?"

"Uh-oh." I thought. Wrong question. He DOES know! His eyes turned positively murderous now, narrowing into slits. Almost like a cat when it was angry. Not a tiny housecat, but a lethal panther.

"If you wanted to talk to _Afton oh-so-much,_ you should have texted him, or called him. After all, that's all you two have been doing this whole week, haven't you? Why the hell did you call _me _here? What is the deal between you two?" He asked me in a deadly cold and dangerous voice, full of…..resentment?

"Wait, what?" I asked, thoroughly confused now. If Afton has not told him anything, why is he mad at me? …. Could it be?

"Alec….. could it be…. You're possibly….but that's…. are you _jealous_ of Afton?" I couldn't hide the hopefulness in my voice. Did that mean he felt what I felt between us? The butterflies in my stomach were doing a Disney song happy dance, my brain screaming out the lyrics.

He looked embarrassed, then shocked, then guilty and finally angry. Turning away from me, he muttered, "Why the hell would you think that? Stupid girl. Coming to silly conclusions." A dark cloud came over his head.

I couldn't stop the wide grin from coming. Stepping up to him, I tried placating him by saying, "Afton is just a friend. I was just chatting with him about different things, majorly about you. We're nothing more than friends." The cloud slowly changed to a grayish-white. He stayed quiet for a while.

Then he turned towards me and leaned in. "You didn't have to tell me that. You should probably tell your mutt that. Hear dogs are freaking possessive, slobbering around you." The cloud was once again pitch-black, with hints of red in it this time. Lightning crashed around him like a typical horror movie. He turned tail and ran away from me, faster than I could ever be. With my training, I was faster than before, but not fast or skilled enough to track Alec.

I was shocked by his last words. They were like a loud blazing siren to me. He had reminded me of the fact that I was not quite free yet. I still had a rope around my neck. I blindly made my way back to the castle and slept, or tried to sleep. I kept tossing and turning, and when I finally found sleep, I dreamt of two pairs of eyes, one hauntingly green turning red and one brown.

* * *

**PAGE BREAK, TIME SKIP**

***next day at the maid café, in the changing room***

"So what will you do now?" Anika asks me when I told her the events of last night. "I don't know!" I wailed.

"I love Alec." I whisper out loud, and my heart soars. There. I've finally said it out loud. It's a nice feeling, and makes me feel light and heavy all at once. I feel my heart constricting and opening at the same time. The knot in my stomach unravels.

My mind repeats a chant over and over- I love Alec. I love him the way the sea loves the sand, so much that I keep running toward him. I love him in the way you can never love two people at one time. I love him more than anyone else, and when my mind conjures up his face, his name, or anything related to him, I feel so light that I am soaring- far far away, in a land where he loves me back. Unbounded, unrestricted, irrevocably. Even if he does not love me back, I know shall forever cherish him. I shall forever remember this feeling- of my first love.

"Those are very heavy feelings, aren't they? I did not know he was your first love." Anika looks at me, smiling softly. "I did NOT say all that out loud, did I?" I say out loud, mortified. She chuckles and says, "Yes you did. It's a nice feeling right? Love." "Are you in love with someone too, Anika?" I ask, a bit hesitant and curious at the same time.

She blushes and nods excitedly. After a long pause, which consisted of me squealing and looking like a wide-eyed doll, she finally says, "He's a really reliable, mature and amazing person. He's been with me since childhood. He's older than me though. He's a family friend, older than Hiro-nii san. He has just started working as a designer. He's pretty young though!"

"Oh my gods! That's amazing! You loved him since your childhood?" I ask. She smiles nervously and says, "Yeah… He has had a lot of girlfriends since high school, but he was never serious about them. So I guess I have always had this silly dream where I'll appear in front of him in a smart outfit that is all mature and then he'll see me as someone he can go out with, not his little sister-like-girl-he-knows! And I'll be the one for keeps, not just a one-time fling. In fact, I wanted to tell you about this because he is coming here this week, to help for the ball. So I was planning to buy something like an adult-ish dress or a suit? I need your help for that!"

Suddenly a new voice joins our conversation. "Discussing first love, are we? How youthful." Jeanne says, entering the staff room. Both of us blush a deep red and she grins like a cat. "Oh my my. Someone's had their heart stolen and is in the fever of loooovvve! Oh, the joyous springs of first love! How energetic!" she gushes loudly.

"Jeanne, Ren, I need your help in finding a dress to wear for him. Will you help, please?" Anika says, imploring us with her eyes.

"Only if you tell us his name. Come on!" Jeanne says excitedly. I think she is the one who is most excited for us here.

"…" Anika stays silent, shifting nervously. "nsamdjjj…" she mumbles out.

"…Would you mind speaking in a language audible to humans?" Jeanne asks sarcastically.

"Kirihito Taiga-san!" she finally squeaks out. Jeanne smirks and asks, "And who might this be?" Anika scrunches up her nose, looking bemusedly at her and says, "I told you… he's the guy…" "Yeah but that is just a name. What is he to you, exactly?" Jeanne asks, smirking with a maddening look in her sharp eyes. NEVER EFER angry Jeanne. "I love him. I have loved him for a long time now, and I wish he'd return my feelings…" Anika softly whispers, eyes a thousand miles away, lost….

Jeanne loses the barmy look and now there is a soft expression (If expressions can be called soft) on her face as she looks at us. The look turns energetic as she says, "Then it's settled! The ball is just 3 more weeks away, Mademoiselles Cinderella! Will it be enough time to let go of old chapters and start on a new page? Will this ball lead you to your person, or away from them? Or will there be an even bigger twist? So much excitement, only at Juanita's cuppa joe, your own café! As we say here, better latte then never, girls!" All of us erupt in giggles at this.

Somehow, Jeanne's questions leave me with an answer. The only thing left to do? Make a bucket list. 

* * *

Okay, the ending is confusing, I KNOW. Hell, I might even change this later! But It shall be explained in the next chapter, so don't worry. Till then, peace out.


	13. How to call off a marriage part-The call

YES, HERE IS THE SUPERSTITIOUS NUMBERED CHAPTER…. XD Have fun reading, guys! Also, I JUST saw that 'I'm a falling star' has 2,813 views…. Oo_oO *^_^* hehe… that makes me feel I am actually writing something….. Also, I have 18 followers and 14 reviews! Kyaaa! Thank you, my lovely little peaches! I am attempting to put up this chapter in the form of a to-do/bucket list.

Revie: She is a useless beggar, who owns nothing except the plot and her OCs. Hmph. If I was some other author's friend, we'd OWN the world by now. Especially Sherlock and Harry Potter, BECAUSE ONLY the BLIND can't see Johnlock and drarry. If I was with someone else, we'd have changed ALL of this.

Me: *whispers* But I gave you my cookies. And my pizza and ice-cream.

Revie: ….Well….. You're an okay writer. I like your Renselec and Jem-senpai…. But what is this Taiga character?

Me: *Glomps* AWWWWW LOVE YA TOO, MY TSUN-REVIE! As for my new OC, you'll find out soon!

**Also, I've finally put up my dreamcast to who is playing who in this story! I'll put up the links on my profile! Do check them out, we got some serious eye-candy hunks! And some pretty Belles too!**

WARNING FOR TRIGGER: A bit of underage drinking. Drunk activities.

Chapter 13-Ren Whitlock's list of how to tell your former bestie that you hate him and his proposal

Ren POV

Our shift at the café ended with us bidding bye to a smiling Dan and a smirking, winking Jeanne. Anika and I had decided to meet up with Jane, Felix, Afton and Demitri for drinks. Yes, drinks. In a bar. Not that I was going to be the one doing the drinking….. Demitri was bored and needed some fun, and according to Felix, nothing was funnier than watching drunk humans make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. See why I was not going to drink?

So after going back to the castle and changing into what Jane deemed 'suitable outfits for first time clubbers' we left the castle for what seemed like a fun night-out. Jem had gone out for something, so Jane had assured Anika that he wouldn't find out.

It took us no time to get in the club; we simply skipped the line, waved at the waiting list standing and ran in the club. Felix had scored us tickets to the VIP room. The music was deafening, the people were sweaty and drunk. The bar was near inaccessible from shouting patrons. One girl flashed at the bartender to go ahead for her order. "Wicked." Demitri said, smirking. "Now I know just whom to talk too." He sauntered off towards the bar. Felix shot off after him, but came back with a tray full of; well I think they were shots? Afton grinned like a cat, looked at Anika and me and screamed, "Time for the newbie initiation!" Jane clapped and Felix whooped. "Now, since you ARE underage, no more than two shots." Jane warned us. Felix let out a huge boo, but Jane silenced him up with a glare, continuing, "But since we wanna have fun, I will increase it to 3." She smirked as she handed us a shot each, a challenge in her eyes.

Looking at each other, we shrugged and downed a shot each, taking a sip first and then downing it all. Damn. My throat burned like hell. I could practically feel the shot sizzling down my throat, my eyes watering a bit. I coughed and gagged. Looking at Anika, I got that she was no better than me.

"Damn it, Felix! Just what did we drink?" Anika screamed, glaring at him. Felix let out a booming laugh. "I don't give drinks and tell, babe." He smirked. "Wait for at least a minute before you down the next one." Afton said, laughing. I felt a mild buzz in my head, but apart from that and the horrible aftertaste on my tongue, I was fine.

The next one and the one after that were no good.

*Time skip wherein our two girlies get d-r-u-n-k*

I and Anika looked at each other. When someone says nightlife, you expect fun. But just like most expectations, this was turning out to be false. We had hit the club at…. Well, I do believe a long time ago. Drinks and dancing had ensued, not necessarily in that order… or maybe. But now my head was pounding, mouth dry and there was TOO MUCH NOISE!

"Where am I?" I managed to rasp out. Too dry mouth, my brain screamed. Too much light, too much noise and too early to speak!

Anika looked at me like I was a lab specimen she had failed to recognize. After a long pause of us simply staring, she shoved a paper in my face and said, "Let's do this. Now." I didn't bother to catch it.

"Do why? I mean what?" I asked her. "Also, please don't shout. My ears are still ringing." She looked at me and said, "You don't remember your bucket list? Wait, do you remember _anything _from last night? Like how we bumped into Jem-nii san and Alec kun?"

I stared dumbly at her for a long time, but she didn't sound annoyed at my silence. If all, she was happy for the quiet. My brain slowly worked up a scenario. Oh yes, after feeling like my head was detached from my body, I saw something that pulled it right back on my shoulders.

***FLASHBACK***

**No one's P.O.V**

**If you are lucky and happened to be in the vicinity of the famous club 'The Answer' on a certain night, you will know and remember two obviously drunk girls jumping into the clubs garbage cans with garbage bags held overhead, screaming, "Can you feel the buzzzz tonighhttttt?! We're the QUEENS!" and a crowd behind them. If you observed the crowd closely, a blond haired girl, two blond haired guys, a brown haired dude were laughing their heads off. Two raven head boys looked torn between being annoyed and laughing. **

**FLASHBACK OVER**

"Oh….. Did we do anything else?" I asked her slowly, enunciating each word as I spoke. She seemed to think for a long time before a bulb went off above her head. She pointed to the piece of paper she had formerly shoved in my face and now lay unnoticed on the bed.

I picked it up and read it.

_Ren's and Anika's to-do list for after-hangover day date._

VEE will call Jacob

YOUS WILL CALL JACOB

REN SHALL CALL JACOB, MEET HIM AND TALK TO HIM, FOR THE GODS SAKE. Also, my peace of mind.

FINE. Anika shall grow yous herself a spine and admit her feelings to Taiga-san while I go talk to Jacob.

Oh my gods. "Do we really have to do this? I mean, this is just a drunk list…" I trailed off, looking at Anika with pleading eyes. She glared at me. "It's a pact. You do it, I do it. I mean, come on, Ren, this is the only way both of us will do this before its too late….. Honestly, I just know I'll bring out some excuse not to confess my feelings and so will you. Both of us have complicated this matter too much. If you would have just told your parents or Jacob all of the truth in the starting, you wouldn't be like this now, confused and hesitating before each step you take. You wouldn't have to be scare about Alec either, and you could have faced him properly. But you can't, because you aren't admitting the truth to yourself! And neither am I! Damn it, every time I think of Taiga-san, I get this feeling of fear in my chest that he'll go away to someone else if I never muster up the courage to tell him. Which has happened a lot of times, by the way. Every time he looks at me, I don't think he notices me. Yes, he likes me as a friend or perhaps a younger sibling, but I love him as a man! And I am a woman! He's never seen me as a woman, just…. A bratty girl I guess. I yearn for him to _notice _me and not just see me and overlook my feelings. Every time we talk, I feel so good… but I keep thinking, is it the same for him? Does he even like to talk and listen to me? Or is he simply tolerating me? If I do tell him, I feel scared that he'll be mad, angry, sad, or shocked. That he'll whisper a small "I never knew you felt that way… I'm sorry…." And stare at me. I'm scared, Ren. It took me a long time to learn to accept these feelings as love and not just dismiss them as a crush that I'll get over. Now that I've done that, I'm scared that if I voice them out loud to him, he'll hate me, scorn me and reject me. I want to stop being scared…. I want both of us to stop being scared, Ren…" She finished, her eyes glistening with unshed tears and her face tired.

I shakily took a breath and let it out. Anika was right. She was right about me being way too cowardly and dragging out this matter for too long. The only way I could fix this was by confronting it. I distantly realized the wetness on my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Anika….. I've been so cowardly….." I whispered, hating how my voice came out cracked and soft. "It's okay, Ren…..I'm sorry for lashing out like that too… ughhh…. Let's stop crying now, okay?"

I nodded. We both took deep breaths and let them out. Finally we pulled out our phones. "You go first" Anika said immediately. "Where did all that previous bravado go now, huh? Well, here goes nothing…." I said and dialed the number that I'd been busy for for a while now.

"Nessie? Heavens, is that really you? Where are you? Why…. HOW could you run away? How could you do that to me, Nessie?!"

I took in a deep breath. "Jacob, we need to talk. Can you come to Seattle by tomorrow? I'll meet you there and for heaven's sakes, do not dare to tell my family. Believe me when I say that I'll know, and then you won't have any way of talking to me. Ever. I mean it when I say it, Jacob. Come alone. Come without any suspicion on you. This is a talk that only the both of us can have. For the sake of our relationship, Jake."

There was a long pause on the other line, and I feared that he'd already called my parents. But he finally said, "Just one thing, Nessie. Was this whole running away because of the marriage?"

Now I was silent. What was I supposed to say? The truth? As I was finding out, the truth rarely helps. But I sighed and said, "It wasn't due to that. I need to see you when I talk about this, Jacob. Please, Jake."

"I'll see you." Was all I heard before the phone cut off. "Your turn now." I said to Anika. She slowly nodded and tremblingly dialed Taiga-sans number. "Hello?"

"Yes, it's me. I was wondering, Jem informed me you had come to Italy early…. So, if you do not mind, may we meet? I have something to tell y-.."

Anika's eyes widened. "Ano… who was that calling for you, Taiga-san? Are you… perhaps too busy right now? If so…. I'll see you later…." She looked a bit sad as her eyes filled with tears again.

There was a long pause, and Anika's eyes widened even more. "You're getting married?..." her voice sounded so soft, I nearly couldn't hear it. A shock went through my own mind, followed by sadness and anger. Why now? Why was it happening to Anika, of all people?

"Oh. Congratulations…. I guess then we do-.." I quickly pulled the phone out of her hands and jammed it on the pillow. "You can't do this okay? You _have_ to meet him." I hissed. She looked angry and finally whispered,

"There is no point anymore, is there?" "Yes there is! If you don't tell him, you'll feel sorry for the rest of your damn life! I will not let that happen, mind you! I refuse to!" I yell-hissed. She was silent for a long time before she grabbed the phone out of my hands and said, "Yes, I'm sorry Taiga-san. The line was not clear, so you couldn't hear me. Yes, I still want to meet you. Will tomorrow do? 12:00 at the fountain square?... Please do come alone. Yes, thanks. Bye." And threw it on the pillow.

She hugged me tightly and whispered a soft thanks in my ear. I nodded shakily and whispered it back.

I took yet another breath and opened up a new google tab to book plane tickets for Seattle.

AWW YASS CLIFFHANGER… HEHE I actually wanted to make Ren and Jacob meet up somewhere in Phoenix, but I thought that that might take a lot of time, what with travel time and all. So, Seattle was my only option. Google told me Jacob would take about 13 hours by bus and Ren too, would take about the same time, by flight. So Seattle was fixed! Also, do tell me how the character development for my OC Anika was. Did she stay a minor character or is she something more? Yes, it's crucial for the story.

Peace out, Anika.


	14. I was never there, never will be

**Hello my lovely peaches! First of all, thank you for sticking with me this long **** Secondly,**

**Revie: She does NOT own twilight, but she sure damn owns this plot, ya'll BISHESSS!**

**Me: You heard him! Now on to the story!  
_**

_**A broken relationship is like a broken mirror, trying to fix it will end up with you bleeding and the image will never be the same**_**. - ME ****  
_**

Chapter 14-I was never there, and I will never be.

Ren POV- In Seattle

I took a deep breath. To an outsider, I would look like a normal girl, probably enjoying a day bunking school or something along the lines of that. If you would look into my eyes, you would see thoughts trying to form but crashing like waves over the seashore. I was uncertain. Yet, I had never been so certain of something in my life. I gazed into the warm brown orbs I had once found solace in, but now cringed to think about. They gazed into my own windows and looked pained…..yet happy. Incredibly so, as if they were not of my former best friend; but of a blind man gazing upon the mystery we call this world.

"Jacob." I said in a soft whisper, my voice… blank? Full of resentment? Whatever emotions were running through my brain, I was surely not aware of their name. "Nessie…" his voice broke as he jumped forward and engulfed me in a choking hug, and I felt my lungs screaming as he squeezed me in his monstrous hold. Try as I might, I could not bring myself to reciprocate, so I let my arms hang by my sides.

He released me and held my face in his hands, searching for something. I didn't know what it was, or whether he found it. By the looks of it, he seemed confused and disappointed. "Why..?" was all he questioned, looking at me in an urgent, hopeful way.

I internally sighed. What I was to say would shatter that hope of his forever, but I had to. "Jacob, I do not want to marry you. Let's call this thing off."

His eyes widened impossibly, as he stared at me, slack-jawed. "D-do you mean, like call it off for now and marry me later, because this thing has overwhelmed you? If it has, it's perfectly fine! Of course, now I get it! You are getting the pre-marriage jitters, right? Oh Emmy explained it all to me; she had it with Sam too! It's all fine, Nessie, it'll be alright." He said, beaming at me now, looking like a kid who had just figured out the solution to a math problem.

He moved in to hug me again, but I pushed him away, shaking my head and saying, "No, Jacob, these are not pre-marital jitters or whatever. I don't want to marry you! I never did, and never will! How could you expect anything but friendly, platonic love from me?! Christ, we've been together since I was a baby! You've watched me grow up, and have been my best friend and a brother-like figure to me! How could you…? Was it always like this? You told me that imprinting was to carry on the wolf-gene. So are you saying you _want _me, just to sleep with me and have your babies?! Gods, Jacob…. that's sick! And the way you proposed to me, leading me to believe you were dying? How sick is that? Of course, I'd say yes, how could I say no or explain it to you when you put it that way? That was cheap, Jacob."

I let it out in a rush as I said it, feeling light that I'd _finally_ said these words to the one who needed to hear them the most.

"You think my love for you is cheap?" Jacob asked quietly, looking at me with a pained expression on his face.

"I think that we are talking of different kinds of love. I loved you as a best friend slash brotherly figure. The most I could see you as was a friend, not a lover. Christ, Jacob, you are _ages_ older than me. You watched me grow; you were nearly 25 when I was born! You baby sat me….helped me grow up, you were there for me whenever I needed you….. But you need to understand that I do not want you, or will ever want you in that manner. Even if we didn't meet in the way we did, if we had met as strangers right now, I am sure I could never love you like that. So stop this, and free me. Free us both, Jacob… I can't stay in a relationship that was built on a lie. You are a great guy, I am sure you'll find someone you love….." I trailed off quietly, looking at him with the same pain.

He laughed. "Like mother, like daughter. Oh, I know it. This feeling is so familiar, I feel almost nostalgic at feeling it again. Yes, I am a great guy. Yet every time I try to find someone I love, I have to be the one that gets hurt, huh?" He said, each word laced with mockery and sarcasm. I frowned and asked, "What do you mean, Jacob… Like mother, like daughter?"

He laughed again, and I inwardly flinched at the sound. Still, I asked, "What do you mean by that?"

He did not answer, and for a moment, both of us were locked up in our own thoughts.

I knew that imprinting was being whatever your imprint needed you to be, but somehow, the thought of Jacob lusting after me, then playing all of my feelings for him into a sick joke, all the stress from a marriage I did not want and fear of hurting people I love,…all of it just swirled into a great big storm inside me, and I lashed out at Jacob, telling him all of it.

I told him that even though once I had dearly thought of him as someone I would readily give up my life for without a moment's hesitation; it was all broken apart, by him and this stupid imprint. I told him that I could never even dream of marrying him, and if I did, it would be a nightmare.

My words, even if they were nothing but the plain truth for me, seemed to turn his face into an even more twisted expression. Where there had been anguish, now there was hatred. A flaming, burning hatred that made me flinch and cower. I had never seen that expression on my best friend's face.

"You know what? You don't deserve to be loved. Not you, nor your mother. Both of you don't deserve to be loved, nor have you the capacity to love! She chose that leech because she wanted to become one too, and trapped him and got banged up with you. Yet I forgave her, for then I had you. I thought, finally she offers me some payment for all the things I have done for her. Even if you are not such a great looking girl, I decided to love you and treat you well. But now you've run of, from me and my love! Fine. Fine. If you are not fond of love, so be it. You don't deserve it anyway. Curse you, Reneesme, you will never know love! You will never be capable of giving love, I promise you! And when you'll despair over it, you'll remember all of this again. How I was kind to you and your unworthy mother, and how you spurned me. It is too late now."

With that, he pounced on me with a ripping sound as his clothes were ripped to shreds. I stood there, terrified and too shocked by what he said to even think of moving away. The last things I felt and saw before darkness consumed me were: A claw on my arm, burning as the pain spread from the wound through my whole body. A pair of burning eyes that flashed yellow before turning into the ones I was so well acquainted with.

…**.How was it? It has been a very long time since I updated, right? I do hope this was up to your standards! Press Revie!**

**Love, Anika.**


End file.
